I am in one of my favorite breakfast places.
The coffee is hot, the hotcakes are good and they don’t mind me being there for a few hours.
And there is a couple on a date in the next booth.
It a “Meet and Greet” date.
They met on a dating site.
He is here to try and get things going.
She is here to make sure he is not a serial rapist.
That’s a date that starts with the phrase “Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?”
Its an odd thing to see two people in their mid 30’s being this polite and nervous.
From the sound of my RUDE listening in, they have been IM-ing all week.
You would think they would be a little more comfortable.
Or maybe that is why they are nervous, because they know a little something about each other.
There’s a little skin in the game now.
It would be easier on the nerves if they had met in a singles bar.
Emotionally, there is no skin in the game there, just skin.
Singles bars used to be called meat markets and for good reason.
Nowadays, we are much more civilized.
And the meat market is now online.
And its a hundred times worse.
It used to just be that there was one or two guys that would get sloppy drunk and use the obscene pick up lines.
The bouncers would get wind of it and Mr. Rude would get tossed.
And all was right with the world.
Now however, due to the anonymous safety of the internet, guys aren’t even getting sloppy drunk before they break out the truly vile pick up lines.
And out of pure survival instinct, the ladies have mentally circled the wagons.
Three quarters of all women’s profiles on the dating sites say, at a minimum, “No hook ups”.
And that is the mildest defense.
The ladies that have truly had a hard time has some disclaimers that, at first glance, you would think was a joke.
One truly stunning Asian woman had a disclaimer, all in caps, at the end of her carefully written profile.
“I will not blow you on the first date and I am not into anal.”
Here are my thoughts.
That is not the sort of thing you write because 1 or 2 random guys asked her these things.
There had to have been enough requests that she felt it necessary to include, not in the first private communication, but in the profile, right off the bat.
This is like dealing with a battered wife.
Or maybe it is dealing with a battered wife, without the hassle of the wedding.
Which leaves the rest of us to deal with a bunch of hypersensitive women that have been mind-banged by the internet.
Thanks guys, on behalf of all of us trying to date in the modern age, thanks a bunch.
Now, there has to be one woman, some complete skank that this has worked on for this many assholes to get the idea that it will work.
So she deserves a big thanks from the rest of us.
The internet is more to blame than anything else.
Because now the freaks have an easier time cranking their freak flags to even more disgusting heights.
As we all know, the weirdest porn comes from Japan.
So, no matter what you are into, there is a website dedicated to that.
Before this becomes a post about internet porn, let me pull my attention back to the dating couple.
They have both calmed down and there is some decent conversation going on.
And there is no chloroform in site.
I wish them luck.