RSS

Tag Archives: vegas

What happens in Vegas may haunt you forever.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

I personally hate that phrase, this despite the fact that there appears to be some truth to it. 

But let me posit the idea that perhaps your behavior should be kept under control so it doesn’t take an entire city, a modern day Sodom and Gamora to handle your shit. (Gamora or Gomorrah? One is the fabled vile city and the other is the hot green chick from Guardians of the Galaxy)

Although, you do have to admit that access to an entire city where you can cut loose and show your ass a bit definitely sounds like a stress reliever. 

Like a city version of a service dog that helps you “Keep calm”. (How about you just learn to deal with emotions instead of being hand held like half a tard all your adult life?)

Either way, I am in Vegas for the weekend. 

I like Vegas because of its honesty in declaring that it exists to take your money. (And if you think you don’t live in a city that is lying thru its teeth about how badly it wants your money, I have a land deal I would like you to invest in, dumbass.)

But I also love Vegas for the time honored activity of people watching.

For those of us who like to watch others, Vegas is a Mecca of sorts.

There are 5 types of people to see in Vegas. 

  1. The first is the Total Tourist. They take pictures of everything, see as many shows as they can and can tell you who is headlining at every casino. They are your safest of the Vegas people to be around.
  2. The second is the Party Tourist. At a minimum, they are drunk all the time. At their worst, they are on a vile cocktail of alcohol, chemicals and natural supplements that makes them a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode. 
  3. Number three is the sly gambler. This guy always has a scheme to take the casino for big dollars. Its like watching an amateur going against a pro. The casinos have been rocking this game for half a century and rarely, if ever, lose. The casinos are a lot like a bear toying with a raccoon. Eventually it gets tired and smashes its living toy into the dirt. Many a sly gambler go home broke with a badly broken hand as a reminder to stay out of a particular establishment.
  4. Four is the regular local. They work for some component of the gambling establishment. These range from dealers, pit bosses, waiters/waitresses, security, clerks, cashiers, support and last but not least is the regular citizen. (Regular citizens live nearby, eat at the buffet and gamble a touch and they are SO not feeling your over the top party vibe.)
  5. Dark Vegas People. These are your drug dealers, human dealers, illegal fight club admissions and illegal high stakes gambling hosts. These are the guys to avoid like the plague. They are much more than you think and what you’re used to back home. (And they bury a lot of people out in the desert.)

All in all, you can have an amazing time in Vegas, as long as you realize that you: A. Are not “The MAN” and B. No, you don’t “Have this shit covered.”

Just keep your head down, have fun, be safe, and go home in one piece, a few dollars left, no STDs or one step ahead of a “Fixer” that wants to buy your girlfriend.

Now, be a good kid and go play.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 26, 2020 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , ,