Blogging and potty humor don’t take a vacation, so let me explain.
Let me bring you into a nerdy little side of me.
Bare with me, because this gets stupid, but I promise there is a reason for this.
I will take you to the Wicked Witch’s castle, but then straight to the Emerald City, Scout’s honor, pinky swear.
I first started the Bittermac blog to build an audience for a really bad novel I had written.
My goal was to suck you in with the blog and then abuse that trust to sell books.
It still is, but its taking longer than I planned.
Anyway, the novel was written during a yearly internet challenge called the National Novel Writing month.
The challenge is to write 50K words, from the beginning of November to the end.
To date, I have won 3 times and have written 3 novels.
And I am trying it again, with a difference.
Previously, I wanted to do fantasy or sci fi. (Side note, I have written a vampire romance. Don’t fuck with me, I WILL make you read it.)
But this year? I am writing a humor book.
Seems to be something that I can do, at least, I like it.
The blog has about a half a million words written, even if they suck, that is a lot.
So, this blog has been pre-written and scheduled.
Like frozen food, its still food, but some of you will bitch that it is not fresh.
Bite me, deal with it.
Think of it as sex with someone you are not into.
Like payback sex or a pity fuck.
Just get thru it and it will be over soon.
The good thing is, you won’t need a shower when its over, but you still might feel dirty.
And its not like this is easy for me, either.
Blogging has its fine moments where you really feel like you have done something beautiful.
And then there are those moments where you feel like a jaded hooker, emotionally detached from the service you are providing that has a somewhat dirty feel to it.
Before you get all Social Justice Warrior on me for belittling the human sex trafficking problem, keep in mind that I am the victim here. (I even shut down the email on the blog site, and you whiny fuckers found my personal email. The bitching never ends with you people.)
Being politically correct has never been one of my strengths.
In fact, one of the worst things you can do is let me know that something bothers you.
At that point, my focus sharpens to just trying to upset you.
I mean, the only reason I ever use the word tard, retard or the phrase half-a-tard is because I got hate mail 2, count em, 2 times, and now I am just doing it to piss them off.
Are you seeing the pattern here?
So, for the rest of November, you will be getting the blog, on time, but a little stale.
Might I suggest some salt?