RSS

Tag Archives: online

You wanna go out?

I am in one of my favorite breakfast places.

The coffee is hot, the hotcakes are good and they don’t mind me being there for a few hours.

And there is a couple on a date in the next booth.

It a “Meet and Greet” date.

They met on a dating site.

He is here to try and get things going.

She is here to make sure he is not a serial rapist.

That’s a date that starts with the phrase “Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?”

Its an odd thing to see two people in their mid 30’s being this polite and nervous.

From the sound of my RUDE listening in, they have been IM-ing all week.

You would think they would be a little more comfortable.

Or maybe that is why they are nervous, because they know a little something about each other.

There’s a little skin in the game now.

It would be easier on the nerves if they had met in a singles bar.

Emotionally, there is no skin in the game there, just skin.

Singles bars used to be called meat markets and for good reason.

Nowadays, we are much more civilized.

And the meat market is now online.

And its a hundred times worse.

It used to just be that there was one or two guys that would get sloppy drunk and use the obscene pick up lines.

The bouncers would get wind of it and Mr. Rude would get tossed.

And all was right with the world.

Now however, due to the anonymous safety of the internet, guys aren’t even getting sloppy drunk before they break out the truly vile pick up lines.

And out of pure survival instinct, the ladies have mentally circled the wagons.

Three quarters of all women’s profiles on the dating sites say, at a minimum, “No hook ups”.

And that is the mildest defense.

The ladies that have truly had a hard time has some disclaimers that, at first glance, you would think was a joke.

One truly stunning Asian woman had a disclaimer, all in caps, at the end of her carefully written profile.

“I will not  blow you on the first date and I am not into anal.”

Here are my thoughts.

That is not the sort of thing you write because 1 or 2 random guys asked her these things.

There had to have been enough requests that she felt it necessary to include, not in the first private communication, but in the profile, right off the bat.

This is like dealing with a battered wife.

Or maybe it is dealing with a battered wife, without the hassle of the wedding.

Which leaves the rest of us to deal with a bunch of hypersensitive women that have been mind-banged by the internet.

Thanks guys, on behalf of all of us trying to date in the modern age, thanks a bunch.

Now, there has to be one woman, some complete skank that this has worked on for this many assholes to get the idea that it will work.

So she deserves a big thanks from the rest of us.

The internet is more to blame than anything else.

Because now the freaks have an easier time cranking their freak flags to even more disgusting heights.

As we all know, the weirdest porn comes from Japan.

So, no matter what you are into, there is a website dedicated to that.

Before this becomes a post about internet porn, let me pull my attention back to the dating couple.

They have both calmed down and there is some decent conversation going on.

And there is no chloroform in site.

I wish them luck.

 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on September 14, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Recipe for pathetic.

There is a distance of separation between being injured and being healthy when it comes to enjoying life.

I am currently swimming around in the injured section of the pool.

I am also unemployed.

Unemployed and injured has a tensing pucker factor of 8.5 to the casual observer.

But it feels worse.

Mainly because one of my tension release methods is judo.

I have been doing it more than a year, so I am still a beginner.

But, with a pretty decently sprained ankle, I can’t even do that.

And I am still unemployed.

Being unemployed is like there being a continual fart in the room.

You can’t ignore it, and, although you try your best to put the stench in the back of your head, it never completely goes away.

The unemployment issue looks like it will be solved shortly.

I am not afraid that I won’t find another job.

I have been working since I was 10 years old, and I was looking for a job when I found my last one.

Its my irrational fear of the unknown that is the issue.

Fear of the unknown takes the absolute certainty I have that I will find a new job soon and convinces me that I will be a homeless crackhead inside of 6 months, performing sex act in alleys to get my next fix.

It lies to me, it says things only an adult child would understand, it convinces me that my sprain is actually a hideous break and I will never actually fight in a Judo tournament. (This is one of my goals. Went to a tournament today and practically shit myself with excitement. I HAVE to do this.)

So, I have to land a job soon, before I go stir crazy, and then I need to resist the urge to push my ankle to go back to Judo before it is healed.

And I have never been good at waiting.

On the other hand, I am seriously becoming a badass superhero on the online game I am playing during my off moments, of which I have a whole lot of right now.

The fun of playing even the best, most addictive MMO online is balanced out by the voice of responsibility in the back of my head, continually telling me what a waste of time it is.

I realize how pathetic this whole whiny rant sounds, believe me, it bugs me too.

I am a lot better when I am working.

I come from solid immigrant stock, my whole psyche flows better when I am working regularly.

And all of this will solve itself in time.

But waiting sucks, it really does.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , ,