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Tag Archives: narcissistic

Let’s all cry together in a safe space.

“If you have a feeling or an emotion, you don’t HAVE to freeze in place until you figure out who to blame.”

That’s my quote, I threw it out there in my last post.

And got some complaints about it. 

There was 3 in total and they all boiled down to the same thing.

“Walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you talk about it.”

They didn’t use that phrasing, but theirs sucked and this is my blog.

Several things.

First, I don’t need to even try someone else’s shoes on much less walk in them to know that they won’t fit me.

Second, not everything is about you. 

And if you think the walk a mile comment is not self-centered at its core, let’s all hope you marry money because the whole thinky thing is not your specialty. 

We live in an age of outrage.

You name it, someone is outraged about it.

There are 2 types of outrage.

The first is that honest old-school outrage. 

They are pissed and let you know it. 

On social media, it looks like this: “Hey asshole, F-you and F your opinion.”

I can respect that one, at least it’s up front and not hiding.

The second kind is the most common form of outrage.

Passive aggressive. 

“I think its funny how people like to make fun of _____.”

It’s preachy, a touch whiny, and basically goes down a bunny hole of political correctness that you either “Get it” or you start to get compared to “Nazis”.

And the list of things you are never allowed to talk about in anything but a reverential tone is as long as your arm.

The recent earthquakes, being bullied as a child, being underpaid, being discriminated against for any reason, not getting what you want and claiming its discrimination, being tall/short/male/female/old/young/Christian/Muslim are all on the list. 

If you are still having the issue, I wish you well on your road to getting that fixed. 

But, if this happened more than a decade ago? 

Let it go.

Stop letting your past define how you react to the present and the future. 

I have a good friend that has about a foot of scar tissue on his arm from a dog mauling when he was a child. 

The only time in the last decade or more that I have heard him mention it was to shut up some guy and his girlfriend when they commented on his joke about an attack dog. 

My friend is also a fisherman.

So when he began playing out the line for dipshit and his girlfriend, I sat and listened.

“You ever been attacked by a dog?”

“Plenty of people have and they probably wouldn’t think it was as funny.”

“But have YOU, ever been attacked by a dog?”

“My mom used to have this little dog that used to snap at us all the time.”

“So that is a no?”

“If you want to be technical…”

And then my friend pulled up his sleeve and shows the gnarled flesh.

“Let it go, stop bitching at people, move on with your life.”

Except that we have conditioned people to feign outrage over anything and everything.

I have always found those that feel it’s their job to chastise everyone else to be profoundly offensive.

The narcissism involved in assuming that you are the only one with any sort of emotional content in connection to some sort of life event is stunning. 

Yes, sweetie, we realize that it’s all about you. 

But, you need to look in the mirror and forgive someone, smack your inner toddler on the ass, call mom/dad/sibling/ex and forgive them.

And leave the rest of us alone. 

Please believe my sincerity when I say this.

Shhhh, nobody cares.

(Sidenote: My test reader just texted me and commented “Wow, who shit in your Cheerios today?)

(Good question.)

 

 
The books are out! Check them out here! The Caffeinated Humor Series

 
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Posted by on July 8, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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The aroma of a disreputable God.

I may be cursed.

I have tried to find an old gypsy woman to verify this, but have come out with snake eyes so far.

I usually live a life that is an interesting cross between golden-child kind of charmed and red-headed bastard son of a medieval lord.

Odd combination, but I usually come out on top.

Until today.

I have mentioned my sense of smell, or rather lack of, before?

For those who are new or not paying attention, I have had some unfortunate breaks of my nose that have ruined my sense of smell.

Among the many scents I cannot enjoy, body odor, affectionately known as BO, is one of them.

I also cannot smell most flowers. (This is almost a crime.)

But not being able to smell BO? I am ok with that. (It almost, but not quite, makes up for no flowers.)

Again, until today.

I am in a Starbucks I have never been in before. (Is that even possible?)

I set up my laptop, grab my coffee, cream and sugar to perfection and head back to my seat.

And then it hits me.

The smell.

I have never smelled a human like Crepitus before.

Crepitus has BO on the level of decomposition.

Check that fucker for a pulse, if you dare to get that close.

Crepitus, for those who don’t have time to research ridiculous crap like this, is the Roman God of Flatulence.

Might be the walking dead for all I know.

Good show, but who knows where the extras on that show go between seasons? (I can’t prove they are not using real zombies in that show.)

Anyway, the smell is an overwhelming thing, like a person unto itself.

A really obnoxious person.

With a personality (Smell) that is aggressive and in your face.

Like an olfactory version of a used car salesman.

They say that the course of human events changes because of the deeds of great men.

I disagree.

I think the course of human events changes because of the stench of random people.

Smell makes the world go around.

However, smell is currently making me lose interest in my coffee, its THAT bad.

There are those people in life that have such a narcissistic view of the world that they have no clue about how they affect the world around them.

No man is an island.

Bullshit.

I can name ten that are land-locked islands with no sense of the other islands on all sides.

And they are not going to change any time soon.

And then, as it always does, shit changes. (Do you see the irony here?)

Crepitus gets up, possibly shits himself, and leaves.

The door opens a few times, letting a little more fresh air in each time.

A woman sits at the next table that has what I would normally think of as too much perfume.

But not today.

Today, even shitty perfume in quantity is a delight.

Now that Crepitus is gone.

And I can get back to my coffee.

 

The books are out! Check them out here! The Caffeinated Humor Series

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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