Tag Archives: mercedes

What is the carbon footprint of a moron?

There is a certain amount of ignorance and hope in someone that someone that becomes a crusader with a cause.

Take the two well-monied house frau’s sitting at the next table are a perfect example.

Lets take an inventory, shall we?

I was in the parking lot when they drove up in separate cars.

One Mercedes, S Class.

One Range Rover Sport.

Once I got inside, I really didn’t need the visual of their vehicles to know what they drove.

They both have the annoying habit of carrying their car keys with the brand logo hanging out for all to see. Its annoying, but it is one that a majority of people with expensive cars that come with key chains with logos do. Its a minor thing.

The shoes are expensive. I used to be involved with a shoe-whore, I recognize the quality.

The clothing is expensive and made to look much more casual. Its expensive to look that casual.

The bag may be Louis Vuitton, I can’t be sure, I never dated a bag-whore.

Their coffee orders were difficult and long. This was not unexpected.

Their conversation was pretty much what I expected, shallow and narcissistic.

I don’t like them instinctively.

Its not the money or a race thing, its the attitude.

My coffee is hot and the company is delicious.

Its not often the coffee shop god’s smile upon you, but when it happens, its sweet.

This is a neat way of saying the table next to them is open.

When you put on headphones, but leave the music off, people assume you can’t hear what they are saying.

“I am sick of this bullshit.” (Angst, always brings out the best in silly conversation, don’t you think?)

“I know, right?” ( I am sorry, but this reply lowered her an extra notch.)

“Their denial is ridiculous, its hurting all of us.”

“The facts are the facts, the school’s carbon footprint is massive and they refuse to do anything about it!”

The statement is most likely valid, and I don’t know anything about the school in question. (But I used to inspect schools, so I do have a perspective.)

But the hypocrisy is stunning.

I swear, I almost said something and risked breaking the cardinal rule of this blog.

Don’t get involved. (Not to be confused with the Hippocratic oath “Do no harm. Mine is more “Do some harm if its funny.”)

Mainly because anything I said would not influence or change their opinion one way or the other.

If I agree with them, I am ok.

If I disagree, I am obviously some sort of ignorant denier.

And where is the fun in that?

What these ignorant biotches are missing is the fact that if you want to bitch at other people make sure your own shit doesn’t stink.

Their own carbon footprint is pretty scary.

The iPhone 5’s that are sitting on the table in their obscenely high priced cases have the highest lifetime carbon footprint of any iPhone ever made. (30 seconds of Google research doesn’t lie.)

Their vehicles are shining beacons of carbon footprinted light in the darkness.

Listening to them reminds me whats wrong with the world in general.

Stupidity. Its actually kind of depressing to think about the fact that these two are breeders.

I know this because they had a brief discussion about their kids.

Range Rover refused to let her son play lacrosse a year ago because, and I quote, “They insist on tracking the score instead of just letting the kids play.”

Sounds like a recipe for raising a pussy. God help this little squish-head when he gets out into the real world and finds out that your employer doesn’t give a shit if you lose but felt good doing it. He will be fired a baker’s dozen times before that little concept hits home.

And S-Class is not much better.

Her comment? “There are so many bad influences out there.”

Are you including the bad influence who’s vagina he tumbled out of?

That is one that will never be blamed.

Its always someone else’s fault.

Probably mine.

And I am ok with that.

At least the coffee is hot.

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Posted by on June 20, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Fabulously stupid.

Have you ever asked yourself why we do this?

I am not sure what “This” is, I am just wondering why we do what we do.

Motivation is always a mystery.

I write this blog for a fairly twisted collection of reasons.

The innocent ones are recognition, a desire to make people laugh and the satisfaction of doing it.

The evil side of me is a rotten fucking bully that really enjoys the sarcasm, occasional obscenity, and picking apart people and ideas in a fairly cruel way.

And I am good with that.

Best not to let stuff build up, better to let it out.

Like an asshole pressure release valve. (NOT a reference to my high fiber supplement.)

One of my issues that take up skull space is why OTHER people do what they do.

Because sometimes they do it for stupid reason.

And that is not just me being mean, it is, but the reasons themselves are stupid by any measure.

Case in point, the dizzy bitch at the next table.

I am in the newly remodeled Starbucks in downtown Manhattan.

The amount of wealth in this section of town is pretty intense.

It ain’t Brentwood, but at least OJ isn’t hiding in the bushes.

And this woman’s issue is this:

They towed her car for either parking illegally, or they repoed it for not making her payments.

This would be a normal fuck up for the rest of but for her, it is worse.

She is talking to someone on a new iPhone 5S, her bluetooth is a model that I am familiar with, it costs several hundred. The iPad on the table in front of her is the latest model. The car that got pinched is a 2013 Mercedes.

S Class.

In short, she has cash.

As the phone conversation continues, it becomes apparent that if it was towed for illegal parking, it was justified. (Quote: “YES, the sign says no stopping any time, but who reads those?” Hint – The meter maid does.)

And if the car was repoed for none payment, it was justified as well. (Quote: “I couldn’t figure out the auto pay thingy, but they act like I will NEVER pay it.”)

It would actually do this bitch good to have to hoof it across town for a few days.

I am not ready start Occupy Manhattan Beach, but this 1%er deserves some shit in her life.

And its all because of the attitude.

But what are her motivations?

They appear to be centered around money.

The money that she is evidently not paying to the bank, but the money that is coming from a source other than solid hard work.

My guess is daddy.

Daddy actually paints the picture that she is younger.

If I had to peg it, I would put her at mid-30’s.

That is past that “Old enough to know better.” Age that the rest of us recognize the need to get your shit together.

Daddy must have worked hard in order to provide the lifestyle she is both accustomed to and thoroughly fucking it all up, to listen to this brainless idiot tell it.

She is all kinds of stupid and has NO clue.

I thought for a moment about explaining it to her.

Not in the vein of trying to help, but more from the perspective of trying to piss her off.

Meh, too much trouble.

Besides, she’s not my type.

I prefer my women to be a lot less tarded than this.

Just a personal thing.


Posted by on November 22, 2013 in Uncategorized


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