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Time to get up in the morning.

Change is a part of life.

It really is the only thing that is constant.

And the irony of that statement bites.

I am not a morning person by choice or nature.

There is something about getting up before your mind wants to that makes it difficult to wipe properly, which can lead the lazy to developing unintended swamp ass.

However, I am a morning person by profession, it seems. (And yes, I wipe.)

Getting up at 5am is never easy.

Its a lot like the idea of shaving your tongue.

You would never do it, it sounds ridiculously painful and dangerous.

There are a few mornings that you feel like it might be necessary.

There is a fine line between being functional and being awake.

I can usually straddle the fine line between.

But it ain’t easy.

A stop for morning coffee is always welcome, but the early morning rush at Starbucks is an interesting one.

There is a line of people waiting to get into Starbucks when they open.

Nobody talks as they wait for the door to unlock, they just scuff their shoes on the ground and stare into their phones.

Its a little eerie.

The only speaking I witnessed was a woman having a short, angry conversation on her phone.

I clearly heard the words “Screw you” before she hung up.

As the door opens, everyone shuffles in lined up in some sort of unspoken, pre-agreed upon order.

The cashier, normally talkative, is oddly quiet.

Kind of like she knows that is not part of the job at this hour.

Nobody tips, that part I noticed as well.

And then, I figured it out.

Civility and all of the other social niceties that we have learned throughout our lives are still asleep.

Give it an hour and take a look at the same scenario.

You will hear pleasantries and civil dialogue.

People will look each other in the eye, rather than down at their feet.

But not now, its too goddam early.

I notice that cell phone usage is at a minimum.

Even that empty headed time eater needs a few more brain cells to operate.

The cell phone companies would cancel mornings if they could, it seems counter productive to maximum cell usage.

The only people up right now are naturally occurring morning people, environmentally induced morning people and parents of small children.

That last one being noisier than the rest.

Me? I am the second, my kids are grown, thankfully, otherwise, work or not, I would be up, missing one of the few benefits of rising early.

There is a certain vile beauty to the world at this hour.

Its quiet and serene and seems a little cleaner than during the rest of the day.

Not that anyone gives a shit, they’re still asleep.

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Recipe for pathetic.

There is a distance of separation between being injured and being healthy when it comes to enjoying life.

I am currently swimming around in the injured section of the pool.

I am also unemployed.

Unemployed and injured has a tensing pucker factor of 8.5 to the casual observer.

But it feels worse.

Mainly because one of my tension release methods is judo.

I have been doing it more than a year, so I am still a beginner.

But, with a pretty decently sprained ankle, I can’t even do that.

And I am still unemployed.

Being unemployed is like there being a continual fart in the room.

You can’t ignore it, and, although you try your best to put the stench in the back of your head, it never completely goes away.

The unemployment issue looks like it will be solved shortly.

I am not afraid that I won’t find another job.

I have been working since I was 10 years old, and I was looking for a job when I found my last one.

Its my irrational fear of the unknown that is the issue.

Fear of the unknown takes the absolute certainty I have that I will find a new job soon and convinces me that I will be a homeless crackhead inside of 6 months, performing sex act in alleys to get my next fix.

It lies to me, it says things only an adult child would understand, it convinces me that my sprain is actually a hideous break and I will never actually fight in a Judo tournament. (This is one of my goals. Went to a tournament today and practically shit myself with excitement. I HAVE to do this.)

So, I have to land a job soon, before I go stir crazy, and then I need to resist the urge to push my ankle to go back to Judo before it is healed.

And I have never been good at waiting.

On the other hand, I am seriously becoming a badass superhero on the online game I am playing during my off moments, of which I have a whole lot of right now.

The fun of playing even the best, most addictive MMO online is balanced out by the voice of responsibility in the back of my head, continually telling me what a waste of time it is.

I realize how pathetic this whole whiny rant sounds, believe me, it bugs me too.

I am a lot better when I am working.

I come from solid immigrant stock, my whole psyche flows better when I am working regularly.

And all of this will solve itself in time.

But waiting sucks, it really does.

 
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Posted by on May 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Why don’t you just shoot me?

Life can be tough, wear a cup.

Every now and then, life decides to sucker punch me in the nuts.

Crude imagery, but I think it fits.

I got laid off.

Let me correct that, I got laid off from a job I had for 90 days and my entire staff was fired.

Staff of only 2, but still.

Out of the blue.

I have been employed since I was 10 years old, I have always had a job, its my thing.

We are Irish immigrants, its kind of a cultural thing. Unemployment is not only frowned upon, its just not allowed.

I have never been dead weight.

So, the job hunt begins.

Blogging pays shit, so I need a new corporate management job.

Fortunately, I interview well, so I am not that worried about that step of the process.

Its the uncertainty that hits me, along with the break in routine.

I don’t have someplace to be tomorrow and that is disconcerting on several levels.

The one thing you never want to do is to admit to yourself that you are scared shitless.

That just leads to bad things.

Liquid breakfasts with high alcohol content is the first one that comes to mind.

Whenever I am between jobs, I do not touch alcohol, not that I have a problem, but to make sure I never develop one.

Plus, I tend to be a mean drunk.

That is barely tolerable when you are drinking too, but not at 7am.

Tends to wear on the nerves.

Besides, the only drug I allow myself, working or not, is caffeine.

And thats not going anywhere soon.

I just got a job offer to ruin peoples days as a telemarketer.

For the record, they saw my resume and called, I did NOT pursue them.

Not that theres anything wrong with that.

Hard core, pure commission sales has an element of “Ass in the wind” that I was never totally comfortable with.

Its one of the reasons that I first went into management and training in the first place.

I began identifying the perfect job opportunity for me, just so I’ll know it when I see it.

Here is what I came up with.

Councilor at a nymphomaniac summer camp for girls.

I don’t have the schooling for that.

Ok, so that was Dave Atell’s joke, but it was the perfect setting for it.

Here is the long and the short of what we are ALL looking for.

Someplace that doesn’t suck, that you kind of look forward to going to, pays you enough that you don’t question being there, and that you don’t have to ride a bullet train for 6 hours to get to. (Kudos to the Japanese, I couldn’t do it.)

So, I put out a lot of resumes yesterday, and I am going to put out a lot more today.

Hopefully, I will find a new home sometime soon, doing something I enjoy.

And if I’m lucky, it will not suck.

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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