Tag Archives: innocence

Innocence and superiority

Declaration of innocence.

It seems that someone done forgot the Crow Commandments.

That line from the Wiz (Starring a yet to be indicted Michael Jackson) was the beginning of an amazing scene in a musical.

But it also could be a gentle reminder to sit still while someone explains the rules to you……AGAIN.

First of all, I am more innocent than most.

Think of the first snow of Winter, pure and delightful, and incredible.

I am all up in that kind of innocence.

Because to understand true innocence you have to understand the opposite end of the spectrum.

The further down one side you go, the further you can go down both sides.

So, having the ability to be stunningly vile is what enables me to be that fucking sweet and innocent.

Like a cuddly puppy that just might go for your throat at any moment.

But he is just so damned CUTE!

A pit bull with a spiked collar and a pink hair bow. (The imagery on that one is disturbing)

A test reader has proclaimed that the previous line might mean I am a little “sweet in the pants”, if that line makes sense.

Being metro-sexual is all part of my vegan-carnivore superiority.

Not everyone can handle that, and thats ok.

In the hierarchy of raw intelligence, the world needs ditch diggers too. (I respect that, but sit down kiddies, the adults are talking.)

Vegetarians cannot understand how I could be a better vegetarian than them, while still eating a diet that is based almost entirely on eating meat. (You can try to chew on the hypocrisy in that line, but take small bites and chew it well before you swallow. You will still choke but at least you made the effort.)

I had to stop writing for a moment to allow my erection to subside.

Brilliance is a goddam sexy thing to behold.

And this is the IMAX viewing.

Now, where was I?

Ah yes, my innocent nature.

Think of the blog as a deep method of intense meditation.

The more you read, the more you will find yourself growing as a person and an asshole.

A natural evolution that is totally based on Intelligent Design.

Homo-sapian to Homo-superior.

Or maybe Homo-sphincter.

(I take offense at the suggestion that the previous line is a smack at the gay community. The gays LOVE me. If you doubt that, wait till Tranny-Hooker makes an appearance. That girl will knock you on your ass, then you will be sorry!)

Yes, its crude. Yes, its childish.

But its an honest attempt to do something without pretense or facade.

Just the sincere attempt to be ridiculous.

And I think I succeeded.

The seriousness of the world we live in can chew you up and swallow you. (Spitting you out would be too kind for society. Pound of flesh is now a part of the Bill of Rights)

So, on the front lines of the battle between originality and soul-killing conformity is me, sporting a semi, sarcastic and loaded for bear.

If you feel like it, pull the stick out of your ass for an hour and lets stomp on the terra like Gods.

And if not? Short and simple,

Bite me. You’re boring.

(Microphone drop)

Leave a comment

Posted by on January 15, 2016 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , ,

The naked muse.

A naked woman once told me I cannot claim to be innocent given the content and tone of this blog.

True innocence is much like true viciousness, pure and perfect at its core.

So I called bullshit. Maybe not at the time, mainly because you don’t interrupt a naked woman.

Your penis will not let you.

When it comes to lust and things of a sexual nature, the penis runs a tight ship.

Don’t get between the primal directive and the captain of that ship.

This is not as deep and philosophical as it sounds.

Basically, a naked woman could read aloud from Norman Mailer’s The Executioner’s Song, arguably the worst fucking book ever written, and I would be enraptured.

(Sidenote. I have no clue how in the hell Mailer won the Pulitzer Prize for that piece of shit. I can only assume that he had pictures of the judging committee playing an intense game of Naked Johnny on the Pony with their faces totally visible.)

And if there are any Norman Mailer fans out there who were offended, fuck off, you are a pretentious piece of shit and you should be ashamed. The only saving grace is that once the half dozen aging hipsters that claim to love his work die off, his name and novels will fade into the obscurity of history.

But enough about Mailer.

Back to the viciousness.

When you are younger, or ignorant and naive, you attached a negative connotation to that.

But your perspectives change as you get older.

Its like the word manipulation.

If I told you I have manipulated you, would you be upset.

Sure, I could stop and make the verbal argument as to why you should say or do what I want you to.

Or I could just guide you down the path of seeing that this is whats best for you.

And when you present it as your idea, I always make it look like I am impressed with your decision.

Now, and this is where the viciousness happens, so pay attention.

I do this to everyone I know.

So, it follows that, if we know each other and you think I have never done this to you, you are so easily manipulated that you have yet to figure out that it happened.

Your welcome.

The older you get, the more you realize that things flow a lot better when someone is in total control of the situation.

Plus it helps if you are the one in charge.

The people that get upset at this are not mentally capable of taking charge, but are close enough to recognize that they are not, or the ones that are dumb enough to think they really should be in charge.

Either one is really annoying.

But lets stay focussed on my innocence.

This blog is pure, untouched, largely unedited, and doesn’t hesitate to say something that might be considered rude.

Censorship is tainted, evil and bad for the soul in the long run.

Not to be confused with the taint, arguably the smoothest skin on the human body.

Try this for one day, from the moment you get up, to the moment you go to bed, say whatever vile of mean thing that comes into your head, with no censorship or filter.

And if you are unemployed, facing divorce and haven’t had your ass kicked as LEAST once by the end of that day, you held too much back.

Please note, I did not say it was a great idea.

I believe I said “From the moment YOU get up-”

I need my job.

And I don’t want to anger the naked woman.

Leave a comment

Posted by on August 14, 2015 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , ,