A non-descript black town car will pull up in front of your house at precisely 5pm.
You MUST be wearing a black dress with red heels.
If you wear anything else the driver will leave.
The driver will stand by the back door.
Nod at him as you approach, and gesture at the door ONLY with your left hand.
He will open the door and close it once you are in.
Place your hands in your lap and look down.
Do NOT make eye contact.
The driver will ask you 3 times, “Where are we going?”
Do NOT answer.
If you answer, he will pull over and remove you from the vehicle.
After the third time, he will head to the freeway.
You will arrive at a sake/sushi bar in Hollywood called “Kino”.
Walk THRU the restaurant to the bar.
Tell the batender with the RED bowtie that you want the “Twilight Special”.
He will push a napkin across the bar to you with a 5 of spades playing card under it.
Take the card and walk thru the kitchen to the black door at the back with the large Japanese man in a tuxedo in front of it.
He will say nothing.
Tilt your head to the LEFT side and say “What is the frequency, Kenneth?”
When he opens the door, walk thru the casino inside and out into the alley.
There is a limo waiting, get into the backseat and tell the driver that you are late.
He will drive you to the Bonaventure Hotel in LA.
Once you arrive, walk to the front desk and approach the clerk with the blue pen tucked behind his LEFT ear.
Shake his hand and palm him the playing card.
He will immediately hand you a large yellow envelope.
Go to the elevator and take it to the 23rd floor.
Open the envelope and inside there is a room key that has “2315” printed on it.
Use it to open room #2356.
In the closet of that room is a wall safe.
Input “2315#” and open the safe.
Inside, there is a cell phone.
Go out on the balcony and dial #6 on the speed dial menu.
When the call is answered, ask for help with your “Rodent” problem.
Hang up and leave the phone on the balcony in the black lounge chair.
Immediately take the elevator to the lobby and walk briskly to the Yellow cab waiting for you.
Tell the driver you are the “VIP” customer.
He will say nothing and drive.
Ignore the urine smell.
You will soon arrive at the Days Inn in Compton.
Go to the front desk and ask for Tran.
Tell Tran that the exterminator is delayed.
He will hand you a card key for room #22.
Head across the parking lot to room #22.
Put the card key in the slot, then turn to face the parking lot.
I will be in the yellow 1979 AMC Pacer with no pants on.
Get in and perform oral sex.
I’ll take you home, maybe we can get some Taco Bell.