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The first FB posts about the evil couple.

Willy McKinley
Sitting in Starbucks while the couple next to me is having a hideous argument.
May 25 at 8:30am · Privacy:Friends Only · LikeUnlike ·

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Rebecca Standridge, Vicki Morris Nardone and 2 others like this.
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Willy McKinley They just exchanged the ritual bastard/bitch name calling. IT’S ON!
May 25 at 8:42am · LikeUnlike · 4 peopleLoading…
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Stacy Herring Saez Keep us posted!
May 25 at 8:50am · LikeUnlike
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Rachel Picard Oooo… let us know when someone gets a drink thrown in their face!
May 25 at 9:00am · LikeUnlike
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Susie M Henderson Wilkinson Update plez – love that stuff!! Lol
May 25 at 9:19am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley Arguing over your kids should never degenerate into the wife accusing the husband of being either gay or in love with their own mother. And a husband should never accuse his wife of being frigid in a Starbucks. I should start a blog.
May 25 at 9:20am · LikeUnlike
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Susie M Henderson Wilkinson LMAO!!! Except the kid part…. !
May 25 at 9:23am · LikeUnlike
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Christy Myers As the stomach turns
May 25 at 9:23am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley He thinks the twins should be in separate classes. She doesn’t. That is the starting point. Are you F-ing kidding me?
May 25 at 9:27am · LikeUnlike
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Donell Gereau O’Brien AND…….what happen to the blog?
May 25 at 10:12am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley There is a dark side of my soul that really enjoyed being right there.
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Willy McKinley
Meanwhile, back at Starbuck’s, the fighting couple are here, and they are on their FRICKIN’ honeymoon! Its a bipolar relationship. WTF?!?!
June 1 at 8:08am · Privacy:Friends Only · LikeUnlike ·

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Vicki Morris Nardone likes this.
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Willy McKinley Honeymoons over. They are arguing about money now. She said his father was retarded. I would cold cock her over that one.
June 1 at 8:28am · LikeUnlike
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Karen Goldstein-Eubanks You need to find out from the staff how often they come in so you can plan accordingly and you never miss their fights.
June 1 at 8:44am · LikeUnlike
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Krista Linkogle-Kaplan Great entertainment in the morning!!
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Willy McKinley
Boring day at Starbuck’s. No drama. Odd how fast you get used to that.
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Willy McKinley
Angry wife just stomped into Starbucks. No sign of husband. Will there be a game today? Waiting…………
June 8 at 8:12am · Privacy:Friends Only · LikeUnlike ·
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Ezequiel Argueta, Vicki Morris Nardone and 2 others like this.
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Bob Tappan I don’t think all that caffeine is helping them.
June 8 at 8:15am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley Husband just arrived. They are being pleasant, but she is quiet and glaring.
June 8 at 8:22am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley They are arguing about Posturpedic beds.
June 8 at 8:25am · LikeUnlike
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Tracy De Long I love your updates about the Starbucks couple!!
June 8 at 8:34am · LikeUnlike · 2 peopleLoading…
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Willy McKinley She said he treats his secretary like servant, or a whore. Her foot hurts and it is his fault because he is a Dr.
June 8 at 8:38am · LikeUnlike
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Stacy Herring Saez This needs to be a novel. I’m hooked!
June 8 at 8:43am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley He was trying to text a friend to arrange dinner and was questioning what to text. She snatched it out of his hand and said he “Doesn’t know shit.”
June 8 at 8:43am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley And the Czech accent makes it so much worse.
June 8 at 8:43am · LikeUnlike
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Bob Tappan Czech accent is bad? I could listen to Zuzana at bodyrock.tv talk all day long…
June 8 at 8:45am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley Thats because she’s hot, Bob.
June 8 at 8:48am · LikeUnlike
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Bob Tappan Fair enough.
June 8 at 9:06am · LikeUnlike
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Christy Myers And so are the days of our lives
June 8 at 10:29am · LikeUnlike
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Madelon Ries Gerety My Starbucks is not exciting at all!
June 8 at 12:31pm · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley I have been accused of making up the StarBuck’s couple. I can assure you that they exist.
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Willy McKinley
So people…….what’s up?
June 15 at 7:48am · Privacy:Friends Only · LikeUnlike ·

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Christy Myers why aren’t you at Starbucks giving us an update?
June 15 at 10:15am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley They have been missing.
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Willy McKinley
At Starbucks and they are not here. The young twenties something girl next to me is being snotty with her boyfriend on the phone. Sigh…….its not the same. God I miss them.
June 21 at 7:51am · Privacy:Friends Only · LikeUnlike ·

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Christine Staley, Karen Goldstein-Eubanks, Lisa Dignan Christiansen and 2 others like this.
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Christy Myers NOOOOOOOOOO
June 21 at 9:58am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley I know. The girl was an amateur. I got a slap-fight when I was ready for a war.
June 21 at 10:16am · LikeUnlike · 1 personLoading…
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Megan McKinley what?
June 21 at 10:46am · LikeUnlike
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Willy McKinley There is a couple that argue every morning at Starbuck’s. They haven’t been there for a few days and I miss them.
June 21 at 10:47am · LikeUnlike
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Christy Myers Maybe they are on vacation? They have to come back
June 21 at 11:27am · LikeUnlike
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Megan McKinley lol thats nice dad.
June 21 at 12:50pm · LikeUnlike
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Stacey Rennie I miss them too
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And then the blog started.
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4 Comments

Posted by on August 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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The startling conclusion….(Evil Couple part 2)

The best description I have come up with for Mrs. Evil Couple is that her whole manner for dealing with people is that she thinks you are a moron, and she is sick of your shit. And she treats everyone this way, the cashier, Barrista, people in line and at the cream and sugar kiosk and that also includes her husband.
The husband paid with out saying anything, just took his change and sat down.
The wife was attempting to call someone who was not answering their phone, loudly sighing each time she dialed and got no answer.
When the husband sat down, the fun began.
It is customary that when the fight starts, the fighters touch gloves and are warned to protect themselves at all times.
Not this woman.
He had gotten both of their coffees, sat down and had just dialed and put the phone to his ear when she reached over and grabbed his wrist, pulling HIS phone away from HIS head.
“I am not happy with the upstairs remodel, I want the other one.”  She said, picking up her coffee without even a thanks. I realize that it should not make her sound more evil that she has a Czech accent, but it does.
His face was a mask of confusion. “What? The contractors started on that two days ago!”
She doesn’t miss a beat. “I don’t care, it is horrible. I want it changed.”
“But this was the design you wanted-”
“Fine, you move into that room, I won’t let the boys sleep there.”
“My father said that the colors-”
“I don’t want to hear what your father has to say, he is so stupid, sometimes I think he’s retarded.”
The confused slash pained look on his face is that of a man that realizes he is now fucked, no matter what he does.
She sips her latte and all but spits it on the table.  “You got it too hot, again.”
He runs a hand thru his hair, trying to get his brain in synch again.
“I can talk to the contractor before lunch, let him know you want to make a change.” He taps a note to himself on his Blackberry.
My gut instinct is to despise this guy for having no backbone.
However, I know something about dealing with difficult women. He is just keeping his head down like a man being shot at by a crazy person.
He decided to try a different direction. He taps his Blackberry.
“Sean texted me earlier, he and Julie would like us to go to dinner sometime this week, I didn’t know what night would be best.” He waited for her to consider.
She is not having any of that common courtesy shit from him.
“Thats because you don’t know shit.” She mutters under her breath and snatches, yes snatches his Blackberry up and begins, I assume, to reply to HIS text on HIS Blackberry.
He is fuming the whole time. When she is done, she puts it down and they lock eyes for a few seconds, before he breaks eye contact.
She actually smiled as she picked up her coffee, which two seconds ago was too hot to drink, and took a huge sip.
“The soy has gone bad.” She made another face.
He busied himself with his phone. His brows peeked at something on his Blackberry.
“My mom wants us to come out to come stay for the weekend.”
“Ugh, I can’t deal with your parents right now.” Yeah, she looks like she is stressing, about important stuff, like getting her hair combed.
“I would like to see my mom.”
“Then you should have married her, I think you must be queer for her.” In my family, the fistfight would have just begun.
He is done. He puts his hands down, palms flat on the table in front and leans in.
“Quit being a bitch!” His voice is low, pitched for her ears only, still kind of polite.
“Quit being such a faggot BASTARD!” Her voice is loud, pitched for the guy in the bathroom to hear clearly. The Czech accent just ratchets this up another notch.
The Starbucks has come to a standstill. It exists in this awkward pocket of time.
Delicious.
The hang time on this one is agonizing.
And just as quickly, its over.
His Blackberry buzzes. He picks it up and reads it, the tension oddly draining out of him.
WTF?
“Sean likes Friday, we should go to the Hawaiian place again.”
She smiles, no shit, she smiles. “I like the bacon rice.”
They stand and get ready to leave.
“Can I walk you to the office?”
He smiles like they just met and she did not just shit on him in public.
“Sure.”
I sit stunned and confused. This had nothing to do with me, I was just a witness.
But I still feel dirty.

 
5 Comments

Posted by on August 2, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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In the Beginning…(Evil Couple – Part 1)

    This is the last flashback I will write. The only reason I am doing this is because I have gotten several emails from people interested in how I first met the Evil Couple. It runs longer than I am used to, so I will break it up into 2-3 blogs.

Let me first state that I am not stalking these people. I just happen to frequent the same Starbucks that they do. I can say that I frequent here a lot more now just because of them.

I like to stop by Starbuck’s prior to work and write, surf the net, answer emails…etc. One of my unfortunate habits is that I listen in on other peoples conversations. For the most part, this is boring.

And then I met……..Them.

When Thoreou said that most men live lifes of quiet desperation, he wasn’t just talking out of his ass. If you listen to someone elses conversation, it is inane and dumb. My conversations to, for the most part.

I first noticed them in line.

She is about 5’7, maybe 150. In her late 30’s. Blonde hair that would hang to the middle of her back, if there was any style to it. Instead, it kind of shoots out from the side of her head in kind of a blonde, “Roseanne Roseanna Danna” look for Saturday Night live fans. Its a lowered blonde afro for those who don’t watch. Her face is european, Czech type features. Cleaned up and dressed properly, this is a good looking woman. She wears a none-descript t-shirt that is XXL baggy. She is exceptional busty, and after turning to the side, there is enough jiggle to tell me that she is not wearing a bra. When each breast moves independent of its partner, something is up. She is wearing sweat pants made popular by Arnold Schwartzenegger back in the 70’s, when he was working out at Muscle Beach in Venice.
Standing behind her is a man in surgical scrubs. He is mid to late forties, distinguished, you would trust your life to him. Well groomed.

And they were together.

I know this because he was turned, looking at something outside the window when the next spot at the register opened up. She noticed that he was turned away and didn’t see, so she flicked out her hand, tapping him to get his attention.

And hit him in the nuts.

To be fair, it was low, but I couldn’t tell if it was a true nut shot.

His head whipped around quick enough, so it could have been.

She spoke to the cashier in low tones, her voice clipped and fast, but too low for me to hear.

The cashier was a little slow to grab the cup and begin writing. >

So she took it from him, the pen too.

    What caught my eye was that it was such a casually crappy thing to do, both me and the cashier were stunned.

    She finally handed it back and walked off, without a thank you, go to hell, an offer to pay, nothing.

    Awesome.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on July 29, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Half of my favorite couple!!!!

Husband seems to be MIA this morning. But the wife is here. Better, she is on the phone and talking loud enough for me to hear.

Joy!

A reference made concerning “mom” leads me to believe she is talking to her sister.

Her car is “A piece of shit” that is being repaired. As the conversation continues, it becomes evident that some body work is being done on her Mercedes.  She hit something and is angry that the body work is not covered by the warranty, so the “thieves” are going to use this as an excuse to raise the insurance cost. Her husband is being a coward and not standing up to them. Evidently, calling to yell at the insurance company would make them pay for it without raising the premium.

I love this woman.

There is a certain glow that surrounds that level of arrogance and delusion. As she has stated in the past, in the mornings, she feeds and dresses the twins, then drops them off at school. All of this is done with, I assume, her snarly attitude and sweat pants. Not even the hot girl yoga pants that are popular these days. Her sweat pant of choice is the thick gray sweat pants they wore at muscle beach 20 years ago.  And a t-shirt without, unless I am blind, no bra. This is a woman who has birthed twins less than a decade ago and is sporting DD’s.

Her entire manner is that of someone that is tired of your shit and thinks you are a moron. She treats everyone the same way. Cashier, barrista, people at the cream and sugar kiosk, and, of course, her husband.

Where is he, anyway? I don’t know that I have ever seen her without him, despite the fact that he must dream of being without her. A funny thought occurred to me. Some men fantasize about other women during sex with their wives. This guy must push himself up and over the top with thoughts of her losing her voice for a week or being away from the house for extended times.

She just told her sister that their mother is not able to live alone and should either go live with the sister or go to a home somewhere. Quote “Not close enough that I feel bad that I don’t go see her every week”.

This woman is the devil.

I have been accused of fabricating the entire “Starbucks couple” as a work of fiction.

Thank you.

The fact that anyone thinks I am a good enough writer to make this level of wicked up makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on July 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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I have missed them.

My favorite couple were waiting for me this morning when I got to Starbuck’s.

I hate coming in after the movie has already started, but here is the basics. There are two arguments going on. Make that three.

The first argument, which seems to be the one that has been going on the longest, is concerning the twins. Should they be in soccer or lacrosse camp this summer. (If I were those kids, I would take anything that gets me out of there for more than an afternoon.) Best comment so far? He wants the boys to take lacrosse. She fires back: “You just want them to become violent assholes, like you and your brother.” What is it with attacking his family? In my family, this would become a physical war.

The second point of contention seems to be that he somehow instructed the barrista to make her soy latte too hot. How he did this is unknown at this point in time. She is still drinking the aforementioned soy latte.

The third issue seems to be a long running one. He wears surgical scrubs and has mentioned he is a doctor in the past. As he is a partner in his practice, it sounds like he has three partners. They each are on call in a rotating shift, once a month. She evidently keeps planning weekend getaways on his on-call weekend. She is of the opinion that, because his partners covered for him to be off 9 years ago the weekend the twins were born, they should cover all of his weekends. The logic of this escapes me, but,according to her, it seems to boil down to him not caring about her feelings.

The sick thrill of listening in on this is not an easy thing to accept of myself.

I will get by somehow.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on June 29, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Do you realize what you are saying?

  We live in a world where 50% of everyone you see on your way to work is on their cell phone. And with the advent of more communication, more marriages are breaking up due to “Lack of communication.” We are talking more, but hearing less.

  And then theres me. I hear a lot. Certainly not what’s said to me, ask my ex-wife about that one. But I hear what people say to others around me.

  In other words, I listen in.

  There is a guy on his phone in my favorite Starbucks right now, that is talking on his cell phone to a friend, possibly his attorney, about his strategy to F-over his soon to be ex-wife. Loudly, with everyone around able to hear it. At the same time, he is making side comments to a woman I believe he met in line. They are both waiting for they’re coffee creations. She is being polite and I think he imagines himself to be sweetly dangerous with the ladies. I appreciate an asshole attitude on occasion, but this guy is a complete bastard.

  Judging from the expressions of everyone around him, the crowd agrees. I think I just saw the Barrista spit in his latte.

  From the look on his face, his lawyer just tried to call him on his proposed behavior. His only comment?

  “The kids are young, they’ll get over it.”

  Wow.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on June 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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