There is an arrogant charm to being a hypocritical shit.
There isn’t really a depth to my shallowness at this point.
Maybe, when I first started writing this blog, there was.
I might have felt an embarrassed flush if someone brought up a particularly heinous remark.
But now? I have no shame and pretty much take delight in the things that make most people cringe.
I will make up fact and polls and scientific findings, often for no reason other than to amuse myself.
You can call me out on it, but that is only going to make it worse.
I will laugh in your face and take the next hour to explain why you are the idiot.
Its like a moral anarchy that knows no boundary.
Thought in my head? (No matter how vile) Its on the page.
And it has caused a noticeable distance between some acquaintances and me.
And I didn’t say “friends” because I didn’t mean “Friends”.
And there is a part of me that, during those rare moments that I reflect with the innocence of a former alter boy, that I feel bad about it.
But then I move on and think of something evil about that person to justify the situation in a way that makes me the good guy.
As for friends, my true set of friends are a twisted bunch of fuckers.
Not only do they get it, there are a couple that feel the worst of the blog is much too tame.
Were they like that originally and we fell in together?
Or were we kids with diverse paths that fell in together due to geography and slowly warped each other?
Either way, here we are.
I find myself reading the hate mail again.
Like a heroin addict, I stayed clean for a few months, even shut down the email feature for the blog.
And they found me thru facebook.
They never missed a whiny beat.
And the email that set me down this path of reflection?
It was from one of the dedicated critics that was among the first to complain.
Tiny Mouse. You rotten bitch.
Tiny Mouse has about 60 cats and a retarded child and lives in New Zealand.
Why New Zealand? Probably to escape US Justice.
Animal rape is illegal in the US, always has been.
At least, that is my theory.
Tiny Mouse’s first email was over my use of the word “Retard”.
She maintains that it harms a child that cannot read in New Zealand if a blog from the US uses that word.
I have come to understand that she is retarded and her kid is most likely more normal by societal standards.
She also claims that a phrase that ignored all content around it was advocating violence towards cats.
She loves cats, I suspect in an unnatural way.
My response to her emails usually begin with a reply from me that is simply a photo of cat-themed road kill.
Its childish, and possibly a little beyond twisted, but it did accomplish my goal.
She lost her fucking mind.
She actually contacted my webhost and asked that the blog site be shut down.
I know this because tech support emailed me to let me know that they would not be honoring her request.
Fast forward to today.
Tiny Mouse sent me an email that talked about how she rarely reads the blog, but she did today. (She has written me almost 60 emails. I am ALL she reads.)
And she is going to stop reading me forever.
Boo fucking who.
I read that line in her email and got a chubby.
I think I even came a little bit.
I truly hope she stands by her principals on this one.
It will not happen, because she has sworn off the blog a few dozen times.
This blog is her meth, without the danger of losing her teeth.
Trust me, she will be back, probably because of this post.
I have mentioned the keywords.
“Retard”, “Cat rape”, “Roadkill”.
But I can still hope.
She needs me more than I need her.
She just doesn’t see that yet.