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The problem is that your dumb.

When I was growing up Evelyn Wood was a unicorn.

Let me explain.

Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics was a speed reading course who’s commercials played non-stop on the radio and the pre-cable low end channels, 5 and 9.

The reason she was a unicorn was that, despite the fact that her program was advertised everywhere, I never found anyone that had actually bought it.

Till now.

There is a lady at the next table at Starbucks that is averaging a page every 8 seconds.

Its pretty impressive.

She has 3 books on her table and I have no doubt she will finish them today.

And then what does she have planned?

Cure cancer? Bring about world peace? Fix the economy?

And then, when she got up to go to the bathroom, and hit me up for some change because “I need to get something to eat” it occurred to me exactly what her plans were.

Meth.

Glad thats out of the way, I hate unsolved mysteries, both the show and in life.

While I am thinking about it, some mothers need to be shot.

Just wanted to get that out there while I am still looking at the 300 pound 7 year old in line with his mother.

And I am sure that if you confronted mom she would peddle some song and dance about thyroid issues and such.

However, there is not a 7 year old alive that needs 3 cranberry/orange scones in one sitting.

The kid is not fat, he is being created in a fat image.

He is going to have to deal with mom’s sloppy parenting skills for the rest of his life.

I wish you well kid, your battle will be an uphill one at best, if the battle can be won at all.

To many times I have run across the parent that has no clue how to parent.

They want to be their child’s best friend.

Good ambition, but that comes later.

Till then, give “Being a parent” a shot.

Set some boundaries, smack a few asses and ground them a few times.

When my kids were little, there was a friend that informed me that I was too strict and that I needed to be more of a friend, let them make their own mistakes.

Lets roll 15 years later.

Both of my kids turned out awesome, the boy has a solid career, doesn’t touch drugs by choice, and his sister is an A student with a solid head on her shoulders. I have a good relationship with both.

Arrogantly proud father here. I am a bit of a dick about it.

The friend with the parenting advice? Both kids went down that drug road and have little to do with their parents.

So, when I throw out some wisdom, understand that I only do so because I know more than you do.

Accept it and lets move on.

Thinking of getting one of those scones, they are so tasty.

I will have to buy my own.

Because you know that kid won’t share with me.

 
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Posted by on February 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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