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Not everything is real.

Never argue politics with a monkey, you aren’t going to get a good argument and it just frustrates the monkey and at some point he will unfriend you on Facebook. (Not a racial comment, but kind of a smack at what passes for intelligence nowadays.)

I got a serious hard on over the idea that I could offend people to the point of unfriending me on Facebook.

So I spent my whole week attacking people’s heartfelt beliefs.

Abortion? I argued both sides on the same comment thread, loud and arrogantly.

Blue vs Red? Again, I was a duplicitous, hypocritical shithead to anyone who would listen.

Hell, mid-week I was claiming that Girlscout cookies were a plot of the Russians, 2 comments later I posted video of Vlad Putin doing judo and claimed that I had changed my rescue dog’s name from Buttercup to Putin. (Side note: I don’t have a rescue dog named Buttercup. I have a collection of angry wolf pics that I claim is my dog. Its just to stir up shit with my simple minded animal rescue friends. Hysterical.)

The tally by the end of the week was 4 people unfriended me and a special 5th unfriended then texted me, calling me a cunt. (I have not figured out if I am offended yet.)

My favorite comment of the week was to a, for lack of a better term, Libtard that had the annoying habit of insulting people and then being a pussy and claiming he wasn’t.

The line that preceeded my comment was his.

“I thought thought this was America, freedom of speech and all that.” (In the context of the discussion, it was condescending and douchie)

My comment:

“Try not to think, its not your strength and it only makes my dick itch. Shut your dick holder and be quiet, the adults are talking.”

Unfriended in under one minute from when I pressed enter, a new record.

All in all, its been a fun week.

There is a part of me that really should be questioning whether or not this is a good thing.

Except that I don’t care.

I mean, the people who unfriended me are not really going to be missed, so I can’t see a downside to this.

But my disappointment is huge.

I am of the firm opinion that you, in a certain sense, can be judge by the acquaintances you keep.

If they can’t be challenged on what they claim is their core beliefs without unfriending people, what does that say about me?

Why was I ok with friending that weak minded piece of shit in the first place?

I blame myself.

Moving on.

If I could keep up that kind of pace, I could be totally FB friendless by my birthday.

And wouldn’t that be awesome?

If you are confused, let me explain.

See, Facebook isn’t real.

If I know you in real life, we are varying degrees of friends.

But, on Facebook?
It is iffy that you exist at all.

But you are definitely there for my amusement.

This is not as sociopathic as you think.

Its more of an eccentric continual search for amusement.

Harmless and amusing.

Just not for you.

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Posted by on January 30, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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We’re all gonna die. Just saying.

I try not to work on Friday the 13th, as a general rule.

This is not new, we’ve discussed this before.

Its not because I’m superstitious or anything.

I just have a healthy respect for tradition and also, I am convinced that bad luck and an old gypsy woman’s curse will kill me horribly on that day.

Call me a pussy, I don’t care.

If you ask me, there is not enough respect for fear-driven urban legend.

And I am not talking about the “Don’t flash your lights at another car that have their’s off at night, its a gang initiation, they’ll turn around and kill you.” Kind of modern day crap.

I am talking about the ones that are several hundred years old, well, like Friday the 13th.

No wonder they made it into a scary movie.

Scary movies exist to scare us, that much is true.

On the surface.

But underneath, there is a whole other psychological game being played.

Scary movies exist to rub our noses in the primal fear of death.

That is what they are really about.

Primal fear is a gift you acquire at birth and it follows you thru life, like a combination lost puppy/grim reaper that you cannot shake.

Not to be confused with Catholic guilt, which is another type of guilt entirely, self inflicted and even harder to shake.

Primal fear and Catholic guilt are both irrational fears.

Catholic is only slightly easier to navigate.

Primal fear encompasses everything in the world that could kill you.

Catholic guilt encompasses everything in life that you might do wrong.

Subtle difference, but a discernible one.

Sometimes, they crossover and are the same fear.

Except, especially at those times, fixing one doesn’t necessarily fix the other.

That concept of fixing a problem and it still not being fixed is a tough one to get the first time it occurs to you.

Mainly because it is an unsatisfying answer, and unsatisfying answers are never easy to swallow.

They are the “Cod Liver Oil” of answers. They may do the job, but they make you feel sick while doing it.

Its a little like being in a relationship and having an argument.

You may win the argument, and you are still screwed.

Like winning the battle but losing the war.

Except this is worse, you are sleeping with the enemy as it were.

Myself, much like all vermin, I thrive on conflict and confrontation, preferably as a witness.

I would use “Fly on the wall” but I find them repulsive. (The whole eating thru vomiting thing is tough to get around. Imagine two girls one cup National Geographic style.)

What does any of this have to do with Friday the 13th?

Today is the day when I avoid human contact.

If I avoid dealing with people and/or machines, they cannot blow up and try to kill me.

That sounds paranoid, right up until you look at insurance company statistics.

More insurance claims are made for accidental death and dismemberment list today as the day of infamy.

I don’t need that kind of pressure.

I am perfectly capable of maiming myself without nature lending an evil hand.

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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