Let me say, first and foremost, I am AGAINST goat rape.
Glad I got that out of the way.
And if you happen to be a goat rape enthusiast, I am judging you, sorry but it is what it is.
This twisted little train of thought came from a Facebook link a friend of mine posted.
It was a link to a news article about a man caught raping a goat.
It was a typical FB echo chamber of 20 people saying the same thing, but within the range of total outrage on one end to the ironically humorous hipster douchebag comments.
And then theres me.
My goal is not to contribute to the conversation, its to break it down into angry response discussion groups.
You find out a lot about people when they are pissed to the point of not being PC anymore.
“The heart wants what it wants, and sometimes, the heart wants a goat.”
That was the opening line of my defense of the goat rapist.
On a positive note, I like to think that it truly united the entire group into a unified front of anger.
Directed at me.
Somehow, not denouncing the goat rapist made me the following things, all at once:
- A racist.
- Pro human rape.
- Pro sex trafficking.
- Anti feminism.
- Pro elder abuse.
- Pro misogyny.
- A hater of all animals.
- A Trump supporter.
And those were just the public comments.
The private messages were more fun.
One of the first called me the “N-word”.
I am still not sure of the connection between Goat rape and the N-word, but they repeated it a few times.
My favorites are the animal rights people.
Their strings are so visible and easy to pull.
Simply find out what their animal of choice is and disagree in an aberrant way.
The level of outrage when a “Sea Shepherd” type is told that dolphin is delicious can be heard from space.
In my defense, I don’t attack anyones belief system that didn’t come to me first.
It is selective bully-ism employed on the people that usually bully others, so its justified in my mind. (My perspective is wonderfully streamlined to make me the hero in almost all settings.)
I read the article and it took an odd turn.
The goat owner suspected his neighbor was sneaking into the barn to abuse the goat.
So you lock the door, right?
No, this guys plan was to hook up motion detector cameras and chain the goat out in the yard.
This is like suspecting your neighbor is a pedophile so you dress your little boy in a Catholic school girl outfit and play on his pogostick out in front of the neighbors house everyday in the hopes of catching him.
The goat owner is culpable in all of this, like a beastiality pimp of some sort.
By the way, if you explain this reasoning to people, it will not go well.
Some people are not ready to hear these kinds of revelations.
At least, not without coffee.