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Horseshoes and hand grenades

18 Nov

Here’s the thing about losing, in anything you care about in life.

It sucks.

Depending on how high the stakes are to you, it can suck like a 3 day case of the quacker shits.

Crude line, but I think I nailed it.

Winning is a lot better.

Winning is like milk and your favorite cookies on a rainy winter’s day.

I was so tempted to go dirty there.

This blog is becoming so wholesome, its just sad.

Or maybe that is a dodge.

Speaking of, Climate Change is in the news.

It used to be Global warming and the science was DONE, ask any snivelling tree hugger out there and you couldn’t shut them up about it.

The entire planet was supposed to be a barren desert by now, Al Gore said so.

Al Gore walked among us like a man for many years, travelling around in his G5 and leaving a carbon footprint the size of Texas as he admonished us about the evils of fossil fuel, even as he burns thru it like a meth head going thru a stack of rocks.

For awhile I thought he was just fucking with us, daring someone to tell the climate emperor he was naked and full of shit.

And then something funny happened.

It got cooler.

There are a lot of scientific reasons for this, but it kind of boils down to money, politics and being really full of shit.

But all of that is done.

I have it on good authority that the world will end in a fiery holocaust late next week and Donald Trump will gnaw on the bones of the dead in the penthouse suite of Trump Tower.

This little theory was ponied up by a crying hipster screeching into his camera phone all the way from Portland, Oregon.

Protests are going on in Portland.

It’s nice to see the Occupy Wallstreet crowd keeping busy, it gets them out of their parent’s basements and homeless shelters.

It has been a dark time since the election.

Not because of who won, but my guilt at how hysterically giddy I have been watching the whining and extreme butt-hurt wailing that has been going 24/7 ever since.

If there was ever a generation that needed to have been beaten with a stick earlier in life, it’s the Millennials.

You might be able to shut down all the protesting if you gave all of them a participation trophy just for showing up while repeatedly slapping them across the face screaming “You won!” into their ear.

However, much like a horse that gets the bit between his teeth and takes off, slowing them down may be a little difficult.

So, since tasing them en-masse is a legal grey area, we will have to wait for them to wind down.

At that point, we can get them some milk and cookies, put on a show they like, and have them enjoy some private time.

Because that always helps when you LOSE.

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Posted by on November 18, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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