There are times I love Facebook and times I hate it.
I tend to use it as a playground, treating everyone on it like playthings.
I see how much shit I can stir up on a regular basis.
And if you think there is no shit to stir, you are the shit.
Some people I go after their reaction like I am fishing for trout.
My high point was my fake account for the largest high school in Des Moines, Iowa.
There was a study that said this was the most average place in the USA.
So I created a profile, loaded a bunch of group pics, never a single person pic and choose a name that was similar to all the names on the largest high school alumni page in Des Moines.
I commented a lot on the Alumni page and then began sending out friend requests.
Within a month, I had over 200 friends, several people that say they remembered me and one girl that claims I made out with her at a party.
There was a vile part of me that really enjoyed slapping around these cyber mice like a digital cat, and a noticeable lack of remorse.
Evidently I have no shame.
Or if I do, I also have some sort of emotional disconnect that keeps it from influencing my actions.
I am good with that.
Everyone should have a hobby. (Fucking with people.)
And then there is times I hate Facebook for what it does to people.
It seems to bring out the therapy dependent tendencies in some.
These tendencies manifest in two different ways.
The first is a need for reassurance.
It starts with a passive aggressive statement about eliminating people unless there is some sort of response.
The immediate reaction is a reply of “Please don’t unfriend me.”
I immediately ask to be unfriended.
They usually think I am kidding.
Sad thing is, I am not kidding.
Who has time for this drama?
I deliberately use the word drama because there are those that constantly mention trying to avoid drama.
And they are the ones that are always hip deep in it.
The second tendency comes in the form of continually posting self help posters about how a real man/friend will treat you.
I stop being nice at this point.
I don’t have that kind of time.
There will never be a time that I make any demands of anyone on Facebook other than to try to force you to stand up to me.
I am a bully of sorts.
Usually I will push the various buttons of those that present themselves as Alpha types.
You want to play with the big dogs, learn to show your teeth.
Plus, in a sick way, its a lot of fun.
The biggest key that NO ONE seems to get is that none of this should be taken seriously.
Somebody said its like high school.
Not even that grown up in my eyes.
More like a sandbox of children all armed with smart phones.
So, if I happen to throw a little sand your way, wipe your eyes, pull up your big kid pants and throw some back.
Remember, nobody like a crybaby.
Child or adult.
A test reader just asked me why I sound like an ass.
Good, I am hitting the right tone.
So if one more person asks me to answer an obviously cut and pasted posted with a single word about how we met then repost, my answer will be “FISTING” and I don’t care how many coworkers and elder relatives they are Facebook friends with.