Interesting conversation the other day.
Having lunch with a few friends, 1 who is a huge blog fan and a friend of her’s that is not.
Just to choose a name at random, lets call the non-fan Shiteyes.
The subject turned to the blog and this was the comment Shiteyes had on it.
“I have never actually read your blog, but I hear its entertaining.” This was said with a scrunched up nose.
Translation? “I have an agenda based on hearsay I am going to try to force on you because I am convinced I am an intellectual.”
I’m not dumb, I can recognize my cue when I hear it.
“It’s not for everyone. I enjoy writing it.”
“I’ve heard you like to hurt people’s feelings.” Ah, here we go.
Social Justice Warrior. Don’t step on toes, never hurt feelings, passive, passive, passive.
My response freaked her out a bit.
“Like it?” Leaning forward, hands on the table, intense.
“I fucking love it.” Said without heat or anger.
I spent the next hour baiting and screwing with this adult child’s head.
Fuck her sensibilities. Gangbang her sensibilities with a vengeance.
Got her to the point of crying twice.
I look at it this way, if you can’t fight, don’t go looking for one. But if you do start it, at least be able to take a punch.
But, it got me thinking.
I don’t like to hurt everyone’s feelings, rampaging like a mad dog. I am a little specific about the feelings I choose to rampage on.
More like a boxer or a soldier, there are rules of engagement.
Here is what I have figured out:
- I am allowed to defend myself. That is where the whole “You came into my yard” “Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch” I will be moderately polite until I hit the defensive point, then I become an asshole.
- I never swing first unless I know for a fact that the other person is up for it. For instance, I have a brother that honestly looks forward to being screwed with by me at family BBQs. Its a sick thing, but he thinks I must be angry at him if I don’t.
- My restraint is lacking. It really is a joy when someone who thought they were going to verbally put me in my place gets to a point where, no, they can’t deal with it. And it is that point in time that I get vicious. Nothing to be proud of, but it is what it is.
Its important to understand yourself, even if your an asshole. It makes it easier to figure out how others will react to you.
Plus, and this one is pretty important, if you don’t know what is lurking deep inside your subconscious, you are going to be reacting to what someone tries to stick you with emotionally instead of intellectually, and that is where vulnerability lives.
Jeez, this is like Superman describing how to make kryptonite.
But, before you toddle off to take a swing at creating the mental weapon of mass destruction, understand that the overwhelming mass of humanity are REALLY not ready to crawl around inside their own heads.
It can get ugly.
And most people don’t handle ugly well.
Mainly because its, well, ugly.