50 shades of blog.
That is my life right now.
For those that didn’t put down their Highlights magazine or the latest copy of 17 magazine in order to read the book or couldn’t get an adult to buy you a ticket for the movie, 50 Shades of Grey is housewife porn about S & M.
I always found the concept of S & M a little silly, and then I realized something.
Turns out, I am totally into it.
I write a weekly blog, and I really work on the rude, like more than most people would think.
Over 4 years, close to 600 posts.
Thats a lot of rude.
But the hate mail has been pretty solid for the last two years.
And it suddenly occurred to me that I am setting myself up for a weekly flogging, all the while whining like some sort of prison bitch about my lot in life.
Here is the issue.
Its all email.
I was perplexed as to why people would send a private message to chastise me when they could comment at the bottom of the post and do it publicly.
And then it hit me.
Because its public.
The whining fucking maggots that piss and moan every week prefer to hide in the shadows as they take their shots.
Confrontation in a public forum might lead to the one thing they fear most.
Someone might chastise them.
And they can’t take that.
So, I have made a little change in the set up.
This will be the last week an email option will be available on this site.
Got something to say? Do it in public or shut up and take it.
So, this is your last chance to take a private swing.
Next week? We will throw down in public.
I have said it before, but you came into my yard.
Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch.
I am not getting misty eyed about it, but there are a few of my dedicated critics that I will miss.
I only know them by their email names.
Tiny Mouse, from New Zealand, sent me the first hate email I ever received.
Calls me a belligerent cis-male every now and then.
Has never understood that I do not view that as an insult. (A cis-male is someone who insists on being viewed as the gender they were born to. The connotation being that you are doing it just to be an ass.
I view my gender as the default setting. I am a guy. So is Bruce Jenner. I will call him Caitlin, but I will not call him a woman until he has his junk removed.)
Another favorite critic is Newhall who is lurking somewhere in Southern California.
Newhall is a unicorn with a winning lottery ticket in his mouth.
Male, and has about a dozen cats. (I have replied to his most heated hate emails with accusations of cat-rape and that just throws him into a frenzy.)
Usually your crazy cat person is a woman.
And while Newhall has tried so hard to make me see my misogynistic racism, its just not a concept I can understand. No doubt a side effort of my cis-maleness.
And he has found it in places that I had no idea that misogyny could exist in.
I have written tens of thousands of words about a married couple that I named the “Evil Couple”.
My bewildered confusion at the antics of those two are some of my favorites.
It turns out that my comments about them, equally spaced amounts of shit heaped on both, are misogynistic.
How? I am still in the dark on that one.
I would like to say that I will miss them, but I won’t.
Much like wiping shit off of my shoe, I will tell myself that its ok, but I will always feel a little dirty, in the back of my head.
So, with all that being said, I invite you pussies to step out of the shadows and into the Fight Club.
And if its your first time at my Fight Club?