There is a certain insanity to a child.
More of a delusional logic that disappears over time.
The really bad part is when we get pulled into it to the point that we accept the delusion.
Because you and I both know that a stuffed animal, as a general rule, do not speak foreign languages.
Case in point.
Bunny is currently sharing the child’s seat in a shopping cart in a supermarket.
The child with the strangle hold on Bunny is a grubby little rugrat, to say the least.
His shirt was white, once.
Key word is once.
Not a lot of thought has gone into his wardrobe.
Blame dad for that, mom is most likely the bread winner in this little scenario, because she is no where to be found.
Dad has that barely keeping all the plates in the air, half assed approach of the stay at home dad.
Further re-enforcing this theory is that fact that, if mom was involved, I can’t help but think that she would wipe this kid’s face, specifically his nose.
Its like a glazed donut screwed a Chatty Kathy doll and this was their unholy offspring.
Its filthy, sticky and will NOT shut up.
I could hear this kid running his mouth from 2 aisles away.
And what was the subject of discussion?
Throwing Bunny under the bus.
Ratting out Bunny seems to be a serious past time for the Glazed Donut Monster.
The insanely delusional list of crimes Bunny is guilty of is like watching a miniature Alzheimer’s patient in the early stages.
And here is where we find out the problem with this whole situation.
Because most kids flap their little underaged festering pie hole and I rarely notice.
I usually just assume they are a little slow, mainly because they are not mine, and I move on.
But dad is the problem.
Dad is buying into the insanity.
“I really doubt Bunny is cussing in German!” Dad says this almost pissed off.
First of all, its cursing. Cussing isn’t even a word.
Second of all, seriously dude?
Its one thing to make the conscious decision to raise this little melon-head even after the doctor told you and the misses that he would never be right in the head. More power to you. Its a selfless thing to do.
But when you buy into the madness, you start down a path that only has one final destination.
But like I said before, stuffed animals rarely speak in foreign languages. They tend to stick to the native tongue of their owner.
And if they did, it would not be German.
Stuffed animals, even filthy snot-covered ones like Bunny, tend to evoke a warm and fuzzy feeling. Summoning images of loving and caring mothers.
Which, if you have never been to Germany, is not what you will find in the old country.
Think of an entire country and a people with resting bitch face.
Show of hands, who have I not pissed off so far?
Sometimes, the truth can be brutal.
Sometimes, outright lying can be just as brutal. Mainly because it has some unpleasant truth to it.
But insane father’s that argue in public about the linguistic abilities of stuffed animals are a different kind of unpleasant.
Because Bunny might be the only sane one here.