I am the harbinger of doom, you’ve been warned.
To judge by the results, I have been breaking mirrors as I hit black cats to make them cross my path so that they can knock over the salt as we walk under a ladder.
The bad luck/shit karma storm seems to be endless.
Not for me mind you, but for everyone around me.
I exist in the eye of the shit storm.
And I feel bad mainly because Karma has been my bitch for a few weeks now.
But that is not what I am hear to talk about.
You all seem to hate the positive shit, you’ve proven that over and over.
The positive or uplifting post are among the least read.
The one’s that detail people held down by Fate and fisted by Karma?
Shit, you can’t get enough.
It boggles the mind and makes me feel bad.
Not to complain, but you do treat me like a whore.
No eye contact, just do your business and leave the page.
Leave the money on the dresser as you go.
So be it.
Why so cheerful today?
Ok, you asked for it, here is the roll call of crap.
This has all been related to me since I wrote last weeks blog:
- I have had a half dozen people tell me about a close relative with a shitty prognosis involving cancer.
- 3, count them 3, acquaintances have told me they are getting divorced.
- 5 car accidents.
- 1 cat rape involving an out of control horny bulldog. (Sorry, I laughed so hard at this one, I almost shit myself. The dog/cat owner has unfriended me on FB and will not return texts. Still funny.)
- 2 people related having ED for the first time. (We are getting older, fellas. Its called Viagra, look into it.)
- An old acquaintance’s child was sentenced to 20 years in prison. (Isn’t meth wonderful?)
- I got a flat tire on my bike. (Really not much compared to the rest, but I SUCK at changing tubes. All about me.)
- A married couple I know decided to spice up their bedroom activities and try some new things. They ended up in the ER later trying to get a string of beads out of her butt. (Pissing off people left and right today.)
It seems to be a time for keeping your head down.
Survival instinct kicks in and you learn to adapt and keep the shit stink from finding you.
So you don’t necessarily avoid people, but you are seeking out people either.
I know, that sounds mean, kind of because it is.
But I mean it in the nicest narcissistic way.
In the end, I look on the activities and things that have gone on in the last week as a cautionary tale of sorts.
But the moral of the story is this:
Be bold but be careful and if the bulldog of life looks your way?
Cover your ass.