You gotta wonder what goes thru some peoples minds.
I mean, being stupid is ok, but being dangerously stupid can get you killed.
Morning rush hour, traffic is bumper to bumper.
I am not on the freeway, but its still bad.
Luckily, I am not rushing to get to work, just breakfast.
Heading to my favorite breakfast place.
Time to coffee up.
But the car ahead of me is out to kill someone.
Judging from the hair, I am going to say the driver is a woman.
And she is weaving, not a basket or something creative, unless you think of fatality accidents as creative.
She is driving by braille, going from the bumps on one side to the other.
And she has slammed on her brakes 3 times in a 1 mile stretch.
We will assume she is drunk, I mean, she could be a serial killer for all I know.
Anyway, the drunk chick almost just impacted into the back of a UPS truck.
We all know how those UPS trucks dart in and out of traffic, no doubt it was the truck’s slow and even speed that surprised her.
Instead of hitting the UPS truck, she whipped her car to the left, pulling into a turn lane, but going the wrong way.
The only problem with that is that she almost went head on into a car that was just pulling into that turn lane.
This woman is a Goddam menace. A threat to the public. Armed (With a car) and dangerous.
As traffic began moving again, I finally got in the next lane.
As luck would have it, my new lane we faster, and I pulled up next to vehicular public enemy #1 at the next red light.
It is, indeed, a woman.
Either late teens or early 20’s, which makes her even dumber than most.
That isn’t sexist, by the way.
Late teens to early 20’s is easily the dumbest part of life, where most of the WORST decisions in life are made.
She isn’t drunk.
She is putting on her make up.
Are you shitting me?
That will be an interesting scene at the hospital.
A surgeon with bloody clothes comes out to address a grieving family.
“Cause of death, lip gloss.”
This is hall of fame type of stupid here.
However, if you smack your hand on the door of your car and yell “HEY, DUMBASS!” She jumps like a singed kitten and stares at you like you’ve done something wrong.
At least it got her to drive better, for awhile at least.
But then she had to work on her mascara.
While I don’t wish her well, I hope the criminally stupid doesn’t become an ACTUAL criminal.
(But I do wish that some sort of karmic “Instant justice” happens to her. Like she gets fired today, or her cat dies, or she gets an STD. Just kidding, I’m sure she’s already got an STD. From her dead cat. OH YES I DID!)