Have you ever had that feeling of being more than a little screwed?
Like totally screwed?
Like, deep in the bottom of the well of the damned type of screwed?
That was me for about 15 minutes, just now.
I write this little blog once a week for the last year.
twice a week for the week before that.
5 days a week for 2 years before that.
Plus, I write a lot of short sci fi and fantasy fiction.
Even a few novels.
All of it on Google drive.
Why Google drive? Because they are much better at backing up my stuff than I am.
And yet, somehow, I screwed up.
I sat down to write this post and suddenly, my balls were in my throat.
It was gone.
All of it.
Over 700 documents missing. 500+ of them blog posts.
Swamp ass? Thats a gimme at this point.
Making that worse is that my ass cheeks are clenched to the point that you couldn’t get a pin up my ass with a jackhammer.
There is a pressure in my chest that might be a heart attack forming.
Have I been hacked?
Some sort of North Korea/ISIS cyber attack?
In pure desperation I checked the trash folder, and misread what was there.
And I was back at square one.
And then I figured it out.
Had it fixed in less than a minute from there.
My ass checks remained clenched for another 10 minutes.
It was like a near death experience.
And that is not the over-exaggeration that it seems.
Pure time wise, there are months of work in there.
Not just the writing, but the planning, the figuring, daydreaming, all of it.
To me, it was like the death of a close relative.
Relief is seriously deep in your bones at that point.
And that feeling of how close it was to being a tragedy.
So I am holding the blog to my chest and sobbing at this point.
And nothing will get you stared at in a Starbucks quicker than naked emotion.
But, like most things, the moment passed quickly.
And life goes on.