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Thanksgiving – No holds barred.

28 Nov

Thanksgiving was yesterday, so lets figure out what we are thankful for.

But first, a small rant presented as bullet point.

  • A grand jury could not find enough evidence to even go to trial.
  • The disinfrachized used the opportunity to loot and cause mayhem.
  • The professional protestors furthered their private agendas and caused mayhem.
  • The handful of actually outraged protesters found their public statements swallowed by the lawlessness of others.
  • In the end, nothing was served, certainly not justice, one side or the other.

Now, lets get to the thankful.

  • A little new life joined my clan. Yay for us.
  • The broken nose from Judo appears to be back to normal. I had a little cartilage bump in my left nostril that is still there.
  • Went back to Judo. After a week off for the nose, a week travelling, and then getting a cold/bronchitis, I finally got back to class. 3 weeks off at my age is not doing me any favors. Began to feel like the shadow of my ass weighed 20 lbs.
  • The wonder kids of mine are doing well. Their genetics are superior, so this does not shock me.
  • The Chromebook I bought for writing may become my home computer. Still incredibly fast and hooks into the 21” monitor without an issue.
  • My penis is doing well.(Not sure why I included this, but it is nice to see an old friend aging well.)

Thanksgiving with my extended family, at least the ones that still show up, as opposed to the smart ones that have figured out somewhere else to go, is always trying at best.

Think about my sarcastic, cynical mind, and then think about the kind of people and environment that would have to be in place to create that kind of cerebral vile and you begin to see why I dread these holidays.

Its a lot like boxing.

Keep your hands up and protect yourself at all times.

And if you step into the ring, you are going to get hit.

Here are three of the best comments overheard at Thanksgiving in recent years:

  • Thats your fourth glass of wine, good to see you are cutting back.
  • I think its great that you have decided not to drive yourself crazy with all of that dieting nonsense, and just be happy. Good for you. (Same conversation as the wine comment.)
  • The last one is not a comment, but a conversation that I caught the tail end of. I had brought a friend to Thanksgiving and went to get us some pumpkin pie. I got back to the table and just caught the end of my Alzheimer’s ridden great uncle, describing in graphic detail, what appeared to be anal sex, complete with hand gestures. She took it well.

In the end, Thanksgiving with the family is a lot like being mauled by a bear.

Survival is all you are shooting for.

 

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6 Comments

Posted by on November 28, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 responses to “Thanksgiving – No holds barred.

  1. Beach_mom

    November 28, 2014 at 5:42 pm

    I must admit that the Thanksgiving I spent with your family is one I will never forget. Your great uncle and his anal sex talk didn’t scare me. It made for lots of laughs and a great memory. I would happily join you and your family again for a get together.

     
    • bittermac

      November 28, 2014 at 5:44 pm

      You are always welcome

       
  2. JimmyDIII

    November 28, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    She sounds like a keeper ButterMac (in honor of Thanksgiving and the whole anal thing). Remember Last Tango in Paris?

     
    • bittermac

      November 28, 2014 at 7:40 pm

      BITTER! How often must I remind you tarded MF-ers?!?! And Last Tango was the creepiest film ever made. Watching Brando run his clammy hands all over Schneider was like watch Jabba the Hut make out with Leia. Instant ass clench combined with boner loss.

       
    • Beach_mom

      December 5, 2014 at 6:43 am

      You’re right, I am a keeper. That why Bittermac and I are such great friends. Friendships like ours don’t come along everyday.

       
  3. bittermac

    December 5, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Plus she won’t sleep with me. That is either good or bad.

     

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