I sometimes have a hard time coming up with an idea for a blog post.
After writing 500+ of these in the last 3 years, everything has kind of been done.
So sometimes, I just look for a hook, something that stirs my imagination when I hear/see it, and your imagination when you read it.
The post you are reading, I am writing the day before its due.
I got nothing.
Or, at least, I had nothing.
But as I was crossing the street to head into the Coffee Bean, 2 homeless people began loudly arguing on the corner.
And the hook fell, like manna from heaven.
Out of the mouth of babes, or in this case, a 400lbs homeless woman.
“YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE!”
I found myself repeating that phrase as I waited in line to get my caffeine fix.
And I came to a conclusion.
I don’t know her life.
However, I could probably make some pretty accurate guesses. (And I am ridiculously accurate when I am just guessing.
1. Odds are, we are not dealing with a graduate from a master’s degree program.
2. Perhaps the exact mix of the cocktail is questionable, but I am willing to go out on a limb here and say that perhaps drugs played a big role. (I have a whole slew of friends that will piss and moan and make all sorts of claims about the harmlessness of drugs. Sorry, my blog, my rules, and you get to gag on my opinion like a first timer in the big house.)
3. Whatever happened to old school crazy? Everyone wants to pony up excuses, well crazy is making a comeback. Whether its naturally occurring or chemically induced, there does come a level of fucked up that you just don’t come back from.
I can almost see the excuse fanatics lining up on this one.
“Judge not lest ye be judged.” Don’t go biblical with me, you’ll lose. That passage was not a biblical get out of jail free card. Its meaning was don’t judge cheaply or with bias, or you’ll be judged that way. Fine, use my own measuring stick against me and see how unsatisfying it is.
“Its not her fault, society/Dems/GOP/whoever is to blame.” No, they’re not. Ultimately, fault lies with her. Some situations have you seriously behind the 8-ball, but that is where the tenacity of the human spirit comes in.
“You don’t know what an addiction is like.” Yeah, I do.
“You are a racist/bigot/misogynist/cat-hater.” Entirely possible. Bias, preference and dislike are human traits. There are exceptions to every rules and there are examples that prove the rule. Case by case is how I take it. I have yet to meet anyone on this planet that loved everyone with the exception of the soon to be sainted Mother Theresa. (Rumor had it she hated the Italians.)
In the end, the secret to getting the crazy lady calmed down and away from flowing traffic was to buy her a cranberry orange scone.
Even crazy loves a scone.