High school reunions are always a dicey thing, at best.
However, and this comes from crashing several high school reunions for years that I did not graduate in, but there may be a reason why some of us never stayed in touch.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some people I really enjoyed seeing. People that only life and circumstance has kept from hanging out with.
And then there are some that, 10 seconds after you start talking to them, you realize why you last saw or thought about them was in high school itself.
As a last minute thing, I recently went to a reunion for a year I did not graduate in.
Here is why it was last minute. Although I clicked on the “Going” button on Facebook, I was not planning on going, I was just tired of it sitting in the Invites section, staring at me.
It was in a beach city bar that I once got wildly drunk in and almost beaten to death. Call me superstitious but I am a big believer in bad vibes.
However, I found myself walking thru the front door.
And it was fine, I ran into a few people that totally reminded me of why that was one of the best periods of my life.
I also ran into a few that make me sooooo happy we were not closer back then.
A bitch rarely ages well, and there is a special brand of fugly that happens to the “Uber” bitches of our youth.
Before you go all feminist on me, the primary bitch in my mind is a guy.
Several others were, in fact, women. That being said, I am kind of blind, sexism wise, on the subject of dislike.
Here are my top 5 reasons for dislike overheard at the reunion:
1. “She and I have hated each other since high school. She’s a slut”. (Translation- My boyfriend back then slept with her because I was holding out. I am incapable of blaming him.)
2. “She has hated me since high school, I don’t know why.” (Translation- I knowingly slept with her boyfriend back in school and I am incapable of blaming myself.)
3. “That chick is crazy.” (Translation- I cheated on my girlfriend with her in highschool and I am incapable of blaming myself.)
(Side note: Are you beginning to pick up on the Peyton Place/Jerry Springer drama here?)
4. “I hated you in high school.” (Translation- During the most insecure time in my life, you scarred me for life.)
5. “You were hysterical in high school.” (Translation- I took a lot of voyeristic pleasure in watching you torment others.)
And the only one I regret not hanging out with is the one I tormented. Its for the better, I was a rotten friend back then.
Now, here is the section of the blog were I get into the exciting part.
Just about every woman I went to high school with are at an intoxicating peak of hotness.
Its incredible what happens to a woman after she is done being a scared kid.
There is a level of confidence that only time can give but under the right circumstances, it can hit like a sensual meth for the libido.
Like a kid in a candy store.
But everybody, man or woman alike, breaks up into 3 catagories.
The first category is those friends who hit nirvana at some point, either married or not. They are worth a fortune, don’t talk about their money and seem genuinely happy.
Fuck em. I distrust these people on an instinctive level.
The second group is those who have kind of gone a different route. They have fucked up a lot since high school, but this seems to be the age that they get it together. They are innocent, like children, without that negative connotation. They are warriors, fighting for every inch to regain ground they lost. More power to them.
The third group are my people. The functionally damaged. We are married or divorced and not wildly happy about one. If the career is high end, the relationship reads like a horror movie. If the career has had some rough turns, the relationship usually sucked in the past and they are on a better road. But the baggage is there, and the stories are better.
These are people who need to unwind.
And, sometimes, you find a little peace in the chaos. A little ray of sunshine among the dark. Some woman age well and then there are the ones that kill it. Always an odd thing to suddenly be overwhelmed by the earthy sensuality of a woman who is empowered and knows what she wants.
In all, I am glad I went, ran into some old friends, saw some old trash I once knew, and met one or two new friends.
And who doesn’t need some new friends?
In all, everyone seemed to have a good time, some more than others. Some, like the poor unfortunate that was being fed into the back of the police car as I was leaving.
Turns out she was the one who hated me, way back when.
I hate you too, sweetie. (And yes, I did laugh)