Homicide is illegal.
I know this because the guy in the leather biker vest with the tattoos said so.
I remember it quite clearly. He had the guy in the suit backed up against the wall, not putting a hand on him, but asking the guy in the suit if he would like him to beat the shit out of him, because homicide is illegal.
And, while I am always on the side of law and order, I am in full agreement with the biker at this point.
I really do hope he beats the shit out of him.
Lets back it up for a moment.
See, I am not a cat person.
Everyone is free to get the pet they want and more power to them.
Cats however, are evil.
I think that is what happens when someone gets more than 2 cats.
They wait till you are asleep and then whisper things in your ear, vile things, atrocities that the mind can barely understand.
Maybe. I am not saying they do this FOR SURE.
I’m just saying maybe.
But this is not about cats.
Its about dogs.
I am a dog person. Dogs love you, care for you, worry about you and carry their own weight.
A dog once took a bite from a rattlesnake to save my brothers on a camping trip. My father drove across the desert in the middle of the night to save him. Awesome dog.
That, I think, is the one redeeming quality of modern society. That is what will pull us back from the abyss.
Apparently, the biker and I see eye to eye on this matter.
Enter the guy in the suit.
With his dog.
Its a cute little kickem dog, Pomeranian I think.
It doesn’t suit the guy in the suit, so I am going to assume it belongs to the wife/girlfriend, and he has brought the dog along while he gets his morning coffee at Starbucks.
But, its a shitty walk.
The guy in the suit seems to think that dogs can pee and shit while never breaking stride and inconveniencing him.
I followed him up the block from my parking space.
It was a block filled with cursing at the dog, yanking, hard, on the leash, and, at one point, dragging the dog.
He really is an asshole.
Even being 20 yards behind, I voiced an angry “HEY!” that only got me a dirty look as he turned the corner.
It was then I noticed the biker get off of his bike at the curb, right where the corner was, throw down his coffee and stomp around the corner after the suit and his dog.
Good, now we are all caught up.
I have not had my coffee yet, but this is worth waiting for.
Karma, it seems, has a whole new act and I must say, its about goddam time.
I realize there is a childish, school yard element to this, but what the hell?
Lets look at the biker as a surrogate for the dog.
He’s a little dog, and the suit is much larger than him.
Correspondingly, the biker is much larger than the suit.
In prison, that would make the suit his bitch.
That last line, although making me laugh, may have gone a bit to far.
Prison rape being a little much to witness before morning coffee, I am still rooting for the ass-whooping.
Alas, it was not to be.
The suit practically shit himself while spouting an extensive series of apologies and promises of proper dog care.
The biker let him go unharmed.
The suit left without heading in to get his coffee.
Hopefully, he remembers his promise to treat the dog better.
But that ass-whooping would have been sweet to watch.