There is a certain amount of fear and loathing to waiting for an employment offer.
It reduces everyone to little kids.
Its a lot like waiting to find out if Santa Claus is real, with that voice in the back of your head telling you he’s not.
And the sad part is, this is a done deal.
I rocked the interview, they have a niche that I will more than fit, in fact be a serious heavy hitter in the position.
But there is that irrational fear of the unknown that I have mentioned in the past.
Plus, my ankle is still sprained.
All of this leads to the mental/emotional death spiral that really makes me hard to be around.
Its not depression, this goes down a different road, a pretty narrow one that doesn’t have a sizable shoulder to park on when you break down, so when/if you do break down, traffic backs up behind you.
So, here I sit, a hardcore unemployable cripple, spewing out sarcastic dribble for the masses, or at least, the few dozen poor souls that seem to find it amusing.
Kind of like the court fool.
However, a good friend just reminded me of a memory in the past.
Basic training in the Army exists for a specific reason.
To break you down physically and rebuild you into a useful soldier, sure, that is the obvious one.
The second part, and really the most important one, is the that you find your psyche cleansed, all of the chafe and impurities are stripped away.
Or you break.
If you break, you are sent home, they have no use for you.
But if you don’t, you come to an understanding of exactly what you are capable of, and how much of a beating you can take.
Pushes your envelop, if you will.
It is impossible to head down the middle of the road if you have never touched the other side of the street, gives you a sense of how wide your particular road is.
So, with that fresh perspective, the true scope of my whining comes into focus.
My ankle will heal, I have been hurt worse than this and come out of it stronger.
Thats just the physical side.
Job? Piece of cake, I am a worker, and another job is ALWAYS just around the corner.
In other words, I am bullet-proof, once again.
Like water off a duck’s back, in the most shallow of ways, I am back in the center of the road.
Leaning to the far side, as always.
Life has decided to mess up that killer ending line above.
I got a new job, starting tomorrow.
Life has a hell of a sense of humor.
Or it just hates this blog.
(Judging by the hate emails I get, its not alone.)