The Phone War, its like a digital version of Platoon.
My phone is a piece of shit.
I realize that I have said this before, but I am feeling it today.
I had a phone I liked.
With only one problem.
It had a small screen.
It was the old iPhone and the new one has a bigger screen.
This would seem like a simple fix, right?
I have a tendency to fuck things up when they are going right.
I had a phone that was fine.
So of course, I need a new one.
I got a deal on one of the higher rated Android phones yesterday.
Got home and the goddam thing will not hook up to the internet.
Called tech support and spent 2 hours on the phone to Mumbai, India, talking to my new friend “Roy”.
(Side note. If you are going to take an American sounding name to put me at ease, choose one that is not creepy and 40 years out of date.)
So, 2 hours of flashing and updating with “Roy”, and the phone is still crap.
Nothing to be done there.
Took the phone back and exchanged it for the same model.
Got it to hook to the internet.
Got home and the next problem surfaced.
Turns out that since my last phone was an iphone, anyone who has an iphone and has texted me before, cannot do so for 30 days.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Turns out that iMessage is Apple’s texting server, and it has a 30 days memory.
It still thinks I have an iPhone.
So, while I text and it goes thru normal channels, iPhone people text back and since my phone is now not an iPhone, I don’t get the text.
A quick survey and I realize that 90% of my texting is from iPhones.
I hate my new phone.
I have had cell phones for over 20 years and I have never had a “one thing after another” experience like this.
Way to go Sprint and Apple, I blame you both.
And tomorrow is more of the same.
I am taking it back.
Apple is Ike Turner, slapped the piss out of me, and tomorrow, I will go back like a bitch.
Going with the iPhone 5 is semi-humiliating but actually makes sense.
I know the iPhone. Sure, IOS7 looks like a silly cartoon, but I know where everything is.
Its like a restaurant you go to a lot.
Sure its not the greatest, but you know the menu by heart and you know where the toilet is.
What is shocking to me is the amount of issues out there that are incredibly well documented, on both the Apple and the Android side, that so many people know about, but no one will do anything about them.
Especially not Apple, the phone makers, or the carriers.
Its like the consumer version of Dumb and Dumber.
The issue I was having with my phone not connecting to the internet? A simple network reset fixed the issue.
2 hours on the phone to Mumbai and that never occurred to “Roy”.
For several reasons I can’t change carriers.
We all have different reasons why we can’t change or get away from this shit.
In the end, we are all Tina.
And Ike is hitting harder as time goes on.