The rules of insanity.

26 Sep

Karma is a bitch.

Coffee karma is a vindictive bitch.

So after my admittedly whiny rant about Coffee Bean sucking ass and Starbucks ruling, the coffee gods got together and decided to smite me for my arrogance.

Starbucks will not let me connect to the wifi.

And I have things to do online this morning.

Its a minor thing, in the scheme of things, but its annoying.

There is no reason that I should not be on.

My computer’s wifi can see and connect to the Starbucks wifi.

But it won’t go to the Terms and Agreement screen.

Oh well.

Can’t let it get to me.

But it does.

Throws my game off.

Perfect example, there is a homeless guy out front that appears to be arguing with the newspaper stand.

And I don’t even care enough to go find out what they are arguing about.

Its too easy to say “He’s crazy” and let it go.

Just because its an inanimate object, doesn’t mean it is not capable of arguing.

Insanity has rules.

If he is arguing with it, he has to have a reason.

Which leads my mind to wonder that, in the world of arguing with objects, how tough an argument do you get out of a newspaper stand?

Is it like that slightly annoying friend that you argue football with?

Or does the newspaper stand have serious debate game, and you better be prepared?

Who knows, they could be old friends and had a falling out over a woman.

Shit happens.

And it seems that a minor altercation is developing at the front door that does NOT involve the homeless guy.

There is a mid-50’s guy who wants coffee.

But he is unwilling to tie his bulldog to a tree out front and is insisting that he be allowed to bring it in.

The sort-of manager has told him no.

The man has that kind of useless douche aura to him that leads me to believe that he is really well monied, kind of that “The rules don’t apply to me” type vibe.

Here are his three most amusing comments.

1. “He just pooped a minute ago.” (It appears that he feels this removes the only problem with bringing the dog in. I had not actually thought about the possibility that the dog might crap in line.)

2. “Well then, I will get it to go.” (He was thinking of staying?)

3. “FINE! Then you have lost my business! FOREVER!” (This guy is 5 seconds away from stomping his little feet, going to his room and SLAMMING the door. I hate you! He may even run away.)

The lost my business forever comment didn’t last long because the second the lady at the door offered to get him something, he smiled, gave her his Starbucks card and his difficult and feminine order.

He is currently sitting out front, waiting for his coffee like a teen spotting beer at a liquor store.

There are several morals to this story.

The first is, try not to be a douche, to the help or in your blog.

You either won’t be able to get a coffee, or you won’t be able to connect to the wifi for reasons unknown.

The second, and maybe the most important thing, is that if you want coffee in the morning, just tie your dog up out front.

Just not to the newspaper stand, that guy is an asshole.

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Posted by on September 26, 2013 in Uncategorized


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