Monthly Archives: July 2013

Crowded yoga pants.

Starbucks is packed to the gills this morning, what the hell?

You would think the day after a major holiday everyone would be on vacation.

And maybe they are.

Perhaps I am lucky enough to live in the place that people want to be.


However, it still makes for long lines and a delay in getting my java fix, so I am against it.

Its a change from my usual.

I fear change like the villagers down the road from Frankenstein’s castle.

Never leads to good things.

My annoyance level is cranked up a notch by the fact that I got up early to go to the gym for a 6am Jujitsu class.

Nothing like wrestling to wake you up in the morning.

But, this makes getting your coffee on time a critical thing.

I got in line back by the cathroom at the far back of the room.

Let me explain this.

The line starts at the cashier and heads toward the front door.

When the line gets too long, it U turns and heads back towards the back.

So to be back at to bathroom means I have a long shitty line ahead.

Being in a long line is a lot like being in jail, it does things to your mind.

At some point, Helsinki syndrome sets in and you find that you love the slow moving staff.

The lady in front of me has a little too much “Old Lady” perfume on, and perhaps a little BO.

Its not the usual crowd, to be sure.

I am getting glared at by a woman that has just made the turn at the front door and is heading to the cashier, positioned to stare right at me.

While there is an excellent chance I deserve it, there is also the chance that she is one of those types who just glares at people.

Who knows?

I quit asking long ago.

Part of my “Embracing the asshole within” philosophy.

Right behind her are 3 prime examples of why Pilates and yoga pants are a fine thing.

I honestly wish I found women younger than myself acceptable to date.

Its a tough one, if they are more than 14 years younger than me, I might have fathered them.

And the show is over at that point.

However, the cultural art piece that is a tight ass with yoga pants is truly worth the look, just to be a complete perv for a minute.

And the beautiful thing about young 20 somethings is that they are wonderfully unbothered by men looking.

One of the girls was texting, then suddenly took a look behind her, catching the guy in back of her totally leering at her ass.

She smiled and turned back around.

Its that whole “Yeah, I know, its mine.” type of mindset that makes her invulnerable for a period of time.

In a different way, all of us went thru a period like that at one point in our lives, that invulnerable stage.

And its a beautiful thing.

But then life, in its crueler moments, will sudden swoop in and end that moment with a definitive “You ain’t all that” move.

Called growing old.

Mores the pity.

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Posted by on July 5, 2013 in Uncategorized


The Freakshow is up and running.

There is a side of the human psyche that loves the freak show.

I that is where the basic interest in all entertainment comes from.

Somebody doing something wierd you didn’t think of, couldn’t do, wouldn’t do for fear your beloved grandmother find out and it kills her.

No matter how we ended up there, we still ended up there in the crowd, standing next to the Armenian guy with 3 day old BO.

Watching some street performer doing a handstand on two fingers.

3rd St. Promenade in Santa Monica is the So Cal upscale version of freakshow.

They closed the street down a few years ago to automobile traffic and put steel poles at the end of each block for about 3 blocks.

The stores there love the foot traffic, the building owners love the higher rents, and street performers are not about every 50 feet in the middle of the street.

It makes for a really crowded, noisy event.

And for those of us whose evil little hobby includes people watching for the sole purpose of making fun of them, its a little slice of heaven.

The first thing you notice is the clothes.

Not the nicely dressed people, thats too easy.

I am talking about the people that would look out of place at a Walmart in the Ozarks.

A 400lbs woman has no business in a tube sop and a stretchy skirt.

Yeah, wear whatever you want, but lets have a little decorum, shall we?

And one woman, I am not sure what look she was going for, but she was an oddity all by herself.

A tall woman, maybe 5 foot 10, then she put on 6 inch platforms.

She had talked a plastic surgeon into giving her a boob job.

And this guy really should have someone look into his license, because the ungodly huge set of boobs he hung on this dipshit not only don’t suit her, but it appears that they are poorly done and hang wrong.

And theres nothing pretty about bad boobs.

Also, a woman with what appears to be a FFF chest needs some sort of support, especially if they are fake.

Because badly made boobs move wrong.

And yet, mainly because they are boobs, you can’t help but look.

Dinner on the Promenade is always a treat.

Asian stir fry, a glass of wine and more people watching.

Dinner and a show.

I am sitting in the corner of the patio section of a place right in the middle of the Promenade.

I would mention them by name, but a quick Google search shows that their lawyers are assholes, so it remains a generic place.

The first two things I try to order, entree and wine, they don’t have.

Evidently they changed the menu without changing the printed menus.

Doesn’t bode well.

(Not to bitch too much, but the stir fry arrived without the chicken it should have had, then five minutes later, 2 side orders of chicken arrived. The waitress generously informed me that she would not charge for the 2nd side of chicken that I didn’t order. How gracious of you.)

There is a couple sitting at the table behind and over one, right against the front of the building.

From the looks of it, they have eaten and consumed several bottles of wine and are now heavily making out at the table.

How do you do that on an empty stomach?

Kids today, honestly.

If things escalate at that table a little more, they may consumate the relationship right there on the table.

Talk about a great first date.

Summer is here.

Welcome to the freekshow.

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Posted by on July 1, 2013 in Uncategorized