Drink coffee if you want to live.

29 Jul

Studies show that coffee drinkers are less likely to commit suicide.

This one caught me off guard.

Twitchy is my medium, my area of expertise.

However, stability is not one of the things I ever figured would come from my caffeine addiction.

Not that I have suicidal thoughts, I am fairly rock solid on the idea of the whole sticking around thing.

Besides, who would write the blog if I went belly up?

Who would give enough of a shit to do it is the real question?

This blog disappears and there are at least 5 unhappy people out there.

(I think it is a healthy thing that I recognize that no one reads this thing, don’t you?)

On an interesting note, on the same page as the Java-death article was a link to a story about Adam Lambert.

For those who are not in the know, Adam Lambert was a pretty obviously gay kid who was on a previous season.

He kept his sexuality under wraps but it was pretty obvious to anyone over the age of 15.

However, the 15 and under crowd kept him on the show WAY past his his exit cue, but he finally got sent packing.

And the second his expensive Italian shoes hit the exit, the fire alarms went off because the term flamer barely covers the sexuality combustion that occurred.

Despite have slightly less than his full 15 minutes of fame, he disappeared pretty quickly.

Once the 15 and under crowd could not even delude themselves anymore about one day becoming Mrs. Adam Lambert, they had to come to grips with the truth.

Shitty music is shitty music, no matter how much you hype it, or view it thru the flattering haze of the past.

That doesn’t explain the career of Vanilla Ice, however.

I am assuming some sort of national psychosis.

He has a show flipping houses for profit, which puts the lie to my claims that he is homeless on Hollywood Blvd.

Oh well.

It was long enough ago that I cannot remember if I actually saw him or if I am just flat out lying.

I like to think of it as shaping my own reality without the inconvenience of having to be logical or follow the rules of society of physics. .

Its funny and convenient and makes things easier to deal with.

It’s like a half-assed crazy streak that is a sort of a release valve, letting off that excess pressure.

Without it, shit builds up and up.

Till it hits the tipping point and the camel’s back is torn in half.

And at that point, no amount of coffee in the world would keep you from trying to use a hollowpoint as a breathmint.

What a line.

Golden, once again.

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Posted by on July 29, 2013 in Uncategorized


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