Evil baby watch.

22 Jul

The royal baby watch is on.

Who gives less of a shit about this than I do?

If I gave two shits about it, it would be two shits more than the whole thing deserves.

But the news cannot let the romance die.

Rather than send a reporter over to England, Channel 5 sent a reporter to Santa Monica, hot bed of English life in the USA, and posted her up outside of an English pub/gift store.

And her excitement level was just this side of bipolar.

She gently fingered herself over the idea of Kate squeezing one out for the better part of 5 minutes.

Will it be a boy or a girl?

The names have already been chosen.

If its a girl, Alexandria.

Pretty name, I have a neice with the same same, stunning girl.

Pity there might be some horse toothed wench from the isles with the same name.

And George if its a boy.

Not a bad name, but to quote George Carlin, its the worst name ever.

Its never finished.

G-E-O-R, G-E-O-R, G-E-O-R…Etc. Never finished.

Still a solid bit.

Personally, rather than a boy or girl, I hope its a lizard that pops out amid wild screaming and scurries out the door.

This of course would lead to a large scale manhunt for the scaly heir to the throne.

King Hiss the first. (George being hard to say with a forked tongue.)

Sorry, I am Scots-Irish.

The Irish having a famous love hate relationship with the English.

You would think the Irish would let it go by now, but a thousand years of genocide will make you a little unreasonable.

Go figure.

Scaly heir to the throne may be the most inspired phrasing I have pulled off in a long time.

In an ironic note, the guy at the counter in Starbucks just ordered something with an English accent.

I will take that as a sign from the Almighty that I am right.

I love how that works out.

And, of course, I realize the odds are incredibly slim that anyone in England will read this crappy little blog, so there is no chance that I would ever be put on whatever passes for a “No Fly List” in England.

Like I would ever go there.

Ireland maybe, England? Not unless forced.

However, I have said the same thing about France in the past, and the week I spent in Paris made me want to move there.

I reserve the right to be a complete and total hypocrite.

However, French food in general and pastry specifically is far superior to most other countries.

I can’t prove it, but I remain convinced that most English foods are based on a dare like some sort of International food Fear Factor.

In the end, Kate married into that pack of miserable bastards and I hope they don’t chew her up and spit her out like Diana.

God save the Queen.

Leave a comment

Posted by on July 22, 2013 in Uncategorized


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s