The royal baby watch is on.
Who gives less of a shit about this than I do?
If I gave two shits about it, it would be two shits more than the whole thing deserves.
But the news cannot let the romance die.
Rather than send a reporter over to England, Channel 5 sent a reporter to Santa Monica, hot bed of English life in the USA, and posted her up outside of an English pub/gift store.
And her excitement level was just this side of bipolar.
She gently fingered herself over the idea of Kate squeezing one out for the better part of 5 minutes.
Will it be a boy or a girl?
The names have already been chosen.
If its a girl, Alexandria.
Pretty name, I have a neice with the same same, stunning girl.
Pity there might be some horse toothed wench from the isles with the same name.
And George if its a boy.
Not a bad name, but to quote George Carlin, its the worst name ever.
Its never finished.
G-E-O-R, G-E-O-R, G-E-O-R…Etc. Never finished.
Still a solid bit.
Personally, rather than a boy or girl, I hope its a lizard that pops out amid wild screaming and scurries out the door.
This of course would lead to a large scale manhunt for the scaly heir to the throne.
King Hiss the first. (George being hard to say with a forked tongue.)
Sorry, I am Scots-Irish.
The Irish having a famous love hate relationship with the English.
You would think the Irish would let it go by now, but a thousand years of genocide will make you a little unreasonable.
Scaly heir to the throne may be the most inspired phrasing I have pulled off in a long time.
In an ironic note, the guy at the counter in Starbucks just ordered something with an English accent.
I will take that as a sign from the Almighty that I am right.
I love how that works out.
And, of course, I realize the odds are incredibly slim that anyone in England will read this crappy little blog, so there is no chance that I would ever be put on whatever passes for a “No Fly List” in England.
Like I would ever go there.
Ireland maybe, England? Not unless forced.
However, I have said the same thing about France in the past, and the week I spent in Paris made me want to move there.
I reserve the right to be a complete and total hypocrite.
However, French food in general and pastry specifically is far superior to most other countries.
I can’t prove it, but I remain convinced that most English foods are based on a dare like some sort of International food Fear Factor.
In the end, Kate married into that pack of miserable bastards and I hope they don’t chew her up and spit her out like Diana.
God save the Queen.