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Who is like the beast?

20 May

The is a certain something that everyone brings to the room when they enter Starbucks.

It is a flavor of sorts and everyone is different.

Some people are like a tonic, soothing and mellow.

They don’t even have to do anything really, just be there.

I am not a big believer in auras, but I also know that I don’t know everything. (Still a hard concept for me)

However, there is another type of personality/aura.

The Tensor.

The Tensor entered the building and half of the customers asses went into full clench.

And a cell phone was involved.

I realize that cell phones are a great invention, communication and all that being a good thing.

But it turns people into different people.

Like this woman.

She is pissed.

It is rare to be able whisper harshly and have it not carry.

Yet this woman is a master at it.

From the second she enters the building, she is whispers screaming at someone on the phone.

And whoever it is they are getting a ration of shit few people ever do.

And the tension is cranking higher and higher the longer she is here. She orders, gets her coffee and leaves in under 5 minutes.

As she walked out thru the door, the guy next to me lets out a breath of air he probably didn’t even realize that he was holding.

And the room relaxed.

Like some sort of aural high colonic that cleared out the backed up waste that had collected over the last 5 minutes.

Whatever, the room is better now that she’s gone.

You have to wonder what sort of life/day/experience would you have to have or be in order to walk thru life with that sort of dead zone surrounding you.

What does she do for a living, though?

This is not someone who is a professional dog groomer.

She is the type that dogs lower their ears when they see her.

Bigger dogs would snap at her.

I am trying and the only thing I can come up with that she might do for a living is to kill small animals with her hands.

I can almost feel the complaint emails being typed as we speak.

Like I always say, don’t bother, I really don’t care and I will ridicule you in public if I can.

I am sort of a rotten child that way.

However, I am fairly harmless as far as pure evil goes so I figure I am flying under the karmic radar for the most part.

But I find myself strangely fascinated by this vile woman.

You have to wonder about her partner, man or woman, that has to put up with that.

Here is a sample conversation from my head:

“Hi honey, how was your day?”
“bite me. grumble grumble grumble.”
“What would you like for dinner?”
“Eat shit! mutter mutter mutter.”
“How about we go out for Chinese?”
“I will eat your soul, motherfucker!”
At this point she sprouts fangs, claws and bat wings.
(Sorry, saw Armies of Darkness over the weekend. My head is stuck there.)

I am willing to concede that end of the day chatter doesn’t go down that way in their house.

But you never know.

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Posted by on May 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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