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Judge not lest ye be

19 Apr

There are times I love yoga people.

Let me be more specific, yoga ladies.

Lets get a touch more specific, yoga pants.

When a woman either is in her prime, or has worked her ass off to get close enough to it that you can’t tell, and then she decides that yoga pants are the thing to wear, its an awesome thing.

I mean that in a pure and innocently sexist way, that objectifies women.

And the content of my evil thoughts at the moment, if known, would set the women’s movement back a decade or two, not to mention that its illegal in a few states.

Now that the ritual lust is out of the way, lets go in the other direction for a second.

Here is a gentle word of advice for the ladies out there.

And let me preface this by saying, do not think for a second that I have any sort of strangle hold on fashion.

I am a wild mess of a human being on my best day.

The fact that I can write some shitty lines is a fluke, try not to read too much into it.

Moving on.

We have established, yoga pants look great on women in their prime or the highly worked outpseudo-prime.

But not on those that aren’t.

And some folks aren’t even within driving distance of prime, it is a ship that sailed long ago.

Case in point.

In the Starbucks line, right at this moment, is a cheetah print tube top, circa 1984.

It is also 3 sizes too small and looks painful to wear.

The woman wearing it also has decided that yoga pants are the way to go.

You would think with the retro top, poor taste or not, that the pants would match.

They do, but not in the way you would think.

They are both poor choices.

I am not sure if she is a yoga person, trying to look like a yoga person, or just wearing whatever was in the drawer today.

It would explain the clothing choice if she was behind on herlaundry and this was all that was left.

I have a pair of Sponge Bob Square Pants boxer shorts that get worn at the same point in the laundry cycle.

Doesn’t excuse it for either one of us, but it does explain it.

My coffee is getting cold.

There are few sins in my world, but thats one of them.

More of a venial sin, really.

But enough about me.

Back to the train wreck in the tube top.

I have come across more evidence of craziness on her part.

Personally, I have never seen someone spend more than 5 minutes choosing a granolaparfait.

You would think that would be a relatively quick decision but to each his own.

There seems to be a fair amount of clutter in her head.

I think I might have dated her in college.

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Posted by on April 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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