Run and hide, brothers.

11 Mar

Angry woman is like the first duece after a Thai dinner, angry and unforgiving.

And I am not a huge fan of Thai food.

Did you know that the Thai word for hot is the same one for sweet.

No shit.

Why bring any of this up?

Because a woman screaming at a man on the street is an event of note.

I am spending a lot of time in Hollywood for a writing thing I am learning/doing.

And there is an abnormal amount of weird.

Enter a woman I would like to call Bebe.

I am not sure what else to call her.

But a description would probably help.

Hot pink stretchie pants, bright blue tube top straight out of the 80’s.

Tight cornrows with red and white ribbons in them.

Her ancestors were no doubt proud Dominican fishermen.

Their newest descendant is hitting her drug of choice a little much.

It makes her unreasonable and angry.

Angry at Brian.

And how do I know the name of the poor miserable bastard Bebe is streaming at on Hollywood Blvd. at midnight?

Because Bebe is screaming his name as she follows him down the street.

The odd thing is, no matter what vile thing Bebe screams at him, Brian does not react, he just keeps walking down the street, with the enraged and shrieking Bebe following him like a homicidal puppy.

And, while I have no clue what crime Brian has committed, but Bebe is not letting him off the hook any time soon.

Here is an awesome sampling of Bebe’s accusations:

1. You a faggot, Brian. (Don’t ask don’t tell has not made its way to Hollywood. The irony is stunning.)
2. Fuck your momma. (At this one, Brian fists were balled up and it was the closest he came to turning around.)
3. I been fucking Timry. (Its what it sounded like, but she was shrieking here. Oddly, this did not seem to bother Brian. Probably the best day in his life would be if she left him for Timry.)
4. It’s not even your car, motherfucker. (Ok, not a seriously epic line, except for the fact that she stomped both feet on the ground for each syllable. )

and the number one best line of the whole thing-

5. My name isn’t even Bebe, shithead. (It really brought the incoherent insanity of it all to a head, like a ripe zit.)

At this point, I turned and headed back to my destination.

I had been following Bebe and Brian for about 3 blocks out of my way.

Because you never pass up a free performance.

Not in this town.

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Posted by on March 11, 2013 in Uncategorized


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