There are times that I feel like you view me as a whore.
I try not t let it get to me, but its there.
You come to the website, get your rocks off and then leave a mental $20 on the dresser on the way out.
But you’ll come back, you always do.
And I’ll be here, you’d think I would know better.
Glad I could get that off of my chest.
Now, back to the shit.
When last we left our favorite evil couple, Mr. & Mrs. were exhausted from everyone else in the house having the flu.
And they were bickering about Mr. Evil’s office redecorating, he wants to face away from the door and look out at the incredibly FUCKING expensive view of the ocean that he loves.
Mrs. Evil wants him to face the door for two reasons.
1. Unknown people might sneak up on him for reasons unknown.
2. If he is not facing the door when they arrive, people will not respect him. (It was beautiful, she told him to go ahead and decorate his office like a homeless retard who obviously doesn’t care if his customers respect him.)
And, just as quickly, it was on to something else.
Mr. Evil sipped his coffee, narrowed his eyes and went for the goddam throat.
“I thought you were going to join the gym yesterday”
Her face twitched slightly, he had scored a “Fuck you” point, and she knew it.
“I was going to, but I had o go shopping for groceries.”
Let her have it dude, going further is just cruel.
Fuck being pleasant.
“Just wondering, I am worried about your weight.”
Wow. Typically, the incredibly shitty lines belong to her, and she works them like a serious artist.
But not today.
“I haven’t gained that much.”
If this were an MMA fight, that would have counted as a tap out.
“I am just worried about your health.”
Silence reigns in an awkward bubble for just a few minutes.
And then, like a master fencer conceding a point with a salute, life goes on.
“What color carpeting did you choose?” She takes a sip of her coffee, still wincing because it sucks.
“I have swatches at the office, do you have time?”
And they get up and leave.
And, as always, I am left with a feeling of watching a film with subtitles, but I can’t read them, and I always suspect that there is a whole other subtext that I am missing.
But, win, lose or draw, I love this couple.
Cause when a hurricane hits, the eye of the hurricane is where all the excitement is.