There are times that you can’t figure out whats wrong with people.
There is a lady on the corner where I am stopped at the light.
And she is screaming at the top of her lungs at her little dog.
She isn’t hitting the dog or even yanking on the leash, she’s just screeching at it.
Super Bitter to the rescue.
I try not to get involved, but I love dogs.
Not little dogs, but there is a principal involved.
“Hey! Knock that shit off!”
There, I did my part in fighting crime.
Besides, A guy and his wife have walked up and are getting into it with the screamer.
My work here is done.
About 5 minutes later, I was pulling into the underground parking bunker that I am forced to park in.
And there is a car in the middle of the aisle, parking.
At least, that is what I am assuming.
Parking usually involved pulling into a parking spaces, stopping and turning off the car.
That is not the case here.
The car is a mid 70’s Oldsmobuick of some sort.
And so far, the geriatric driver, a blue hair that CANNOT see over the steering wheel, has pulled out and back in 3 times.
In the end, 6 was the magic number when it come to adjusting the parking spot for the Oldsmobuick.
I would normally be pissed and lay on the horn, but, from what little I could see of the driver, she looked a frightening amount like my great grandmother.
And just the memory of that woman kept my hand off the horn.
If half the stories about my great grandmother are true, then God help me if I piss her off.
Dead or alive, the woman was a force of nature not to be fucked with.
Just over 5 minutes later, I am sipping scalding hot coffee in my favorite small round table at Starbucks.
Ah, sweet addiction, how I have missed you.
A young mother just stepped away from the cashier with 3 kids and that really tense stressed look on her face that you don’t understand if you haven’t had kids.
But for those with kids, its like a guy watching someone getting kicked in the nuts.
You feel that sympathy pain, combined with crushing relief that it isn’t you.
The barrista is hitting high speed today and has her coffee creation ready when she gets there.
And then they sit next to me.
I despise other peoples children.
I am comfortable with the fact that there is a shallow little piece of my soul that views others kids as semi-retarded, dull and ugly.
It is what it is.
And her kids are making me feel so in the right for my feelings today.
Chatty is a word you might use.
Mom looks like she is in the same place as me, and they are her’s.
“Empty mouths” Mom says it quietly.
The kids giggle for half a second.
And then all 3 stick their fists in their own mouths.
I might be in the Twilight Zone again.
Mom sighs like someone is giving her a backrub and sips her coffee.
The kids appear to be enjoying the game.
Its a very weird bubble we are existing in right now.
But at least its quiet.