There are times that writing this blog is a tough one.
Days where coming up with a blog post idea is next to impossible.
And then there are days like this one.
I got my coffee, and right after I finished creaming and sugaring the hell out of it, my favorite small table opened up.
I got my tablet and keyboard set up, got all settled in-
And then the Evil couple sat down next to me.
Really? Is it just going to be handed to me today?
I had been listening to some music on headphones, so I turned off the music and left the headphones in.
All the better to give the impression that I am minding my own business.
Isn’t that just fucking cute?
This couple has given me some of the finest blogs I have ever written, the lines so shitty, so incredibly vile and, well, Evil.
So what do they have for me today?
I didn’t have to wait long.
“You are such an asshole.”
Apparently, they stopped mid argument and decided to go for coffee.
They trade nasty comments for the next few minutes and I find out the following.
1. Mama Evill (Now living with them) and the twins have all had the flu for the past week.
2. Mr. & Mrs. Evil are convinced they are getting sick, despite the fact that they both stated that they have no symptoms.
3. Mrs. Evil is exhausted because she only slept from 1am to 6am. Mr. Evil was up every hour from Midnight on. (Do the math, he is getting less sleep.)
Right in the middle of a diatribe on the vile flavor of her coffee, Mrs Evil morphs the entire thing into a talk about Mr. Evil and his soon to be remodeled office.
He is a rather well to do doctor and, I must admit, I have no idea what his area of medicine is.
“I don’t want to face away from the window, I pay a lot for that view, I would like to enjoy it.”
Mr. Evil has a point there, rent in downtown Manhattan is ridiculous.
“You can’t face away from the door, you don’t want someone sneaking up behind you in the office.”
Do doctor’s fear ninja attacks in their offices?
“No, you are missing the fucking point!”
I am not sure why he is getting so pissed so fast, so I will have to assume that this is a continuation of an earlier argument.
When he curses, she usually buckles. But hold off before you start shedding any tears for her. She is the embodiment of evil on this planet.
However, their table is apparently a buckle free zone today.
“So set up your office like a homeless retard, obviously the respect of anyone who comes to see you is not important.”
I love this woman. She said this, then sipped her coffee, wincing at the inferior taste.
END OF PART 1