Anticipation can kill you.
And I am not talking about the kind of anticipation like you’re waiting for the ketchup to come out of the bottle.
I am talking about the kind of anticipation that you may piss yourself if something doesn’t happen soon!
Sitting in front of me is the Evil Couple.
(Recap for newcomers: This Couple is the worst couple since people started dating. The absolutely nasty shit she has pulled on her husband, people around her, and even me on one occasion. He can turn on her like a mistreated pitbull, vicious and without warning. They are married, got two twin boys, and her evil mama just started living with them a short while ago. There, all caught up)
Normally, when I run into the Evil couple, I am elated.
Because there is always a new story when I do.
Except for today.
They aren’t doing anything.
And thats boring.
So, I am waiting, hiding out in the modern coffee shop equivalent of a duck blind, the big table at Starbucks.
They are across the room, no seats nearby, and I suck at lip reading.
So I have to guess.
You may think this is a little rude and intrusive, focussing on these poor people like I do.
You must be new.
They are the reason this blog exists.
I started this little place to blog about them.
They are the “Founders of the feast” as it were.
Their body language is tense.
Lots of snippy seeming replies and interrupting.
And this is all guesswork.
I am on the verge of shitting myself in frustration.
However, Starbucks frowns on public defecating in the main room.
Not that I have ever done so, but I’ve heard.
However, I was here the day that a homeless guy I call Fernando was arrested for pissing on the front window.
It wasn’t just a case of him randomly dropping trough and peeing, it was done in protest.
Apparently, just before I got there, Fernando had been asked to leave.
He had bought a small coffee and sat in at one of the small round tables.
This is the homeless equivalent of paying chair rent.
This means that he gets to sit there for awhile because he bought something.
Except that he began talking to himself.
And evidently, he has a potty mouth.
So, the non-manager asked him to leave.
I say non-manager because the management style of the current manager is amusing, to say the least.
He dislikes confrontation, so anything he makes a decision on, is blamed on “My manager”.
“My manager says you have to leave”
“My manager called the police.”
“I would do that, but my manager would fire me. No, he’s not here.”
I have always that that was hysterical.
Anyway, back to Fernando pissing on the front window.
I had gotten there just as Fernando was leaving.
The police had just pulled up and parked about 5 spaces down, and were walking up.
And this was when Fernando, in epic homeless fashion, knocked it out of the park.
He stood up on the brick porch out front, stared thru the glass at the Non-manager, and peed.
As far as acts of defiance go, this one was pretty epic.
It was awesome.