Hit me again, Jobs.

11 Dec

Ever pick up your phone and find out that your phone, thru no fault of yours, has dialed someone?

You always hope to catch it before it rings, then you can hang up with no penalty.

And if it rings once or twice, you have a quick decision to make.

Stay on the line and wait for the other side to answer, explain the whole thing and be embarrassed.

Or, you could just hang up and hope they don’t call back to find out why you called at all.

The absolute worst is when you suddenly realize that you dialed someone, because you can hear then shouting hello into the phone.

On par with that one is when you get someone that calls you back to tell you that you dialed them.

I have had people do this and describe conversations I had with other people that they could hear.

What is the proper tact to take at that point?

Kind of like, no matter what tact you take, you are just going to be embarrassed.

I like to think that is why they call it butt dialing.

I refuse to accept responsibility for this.

Mainly because no one else ever butt dials me.

Which either means that everyone is more competent than me and I am ignorant, or the phone company has some vast conspiracy to disparage me.

But which one is it?

Conspiracy theory it is.

Curse you, Sprint.

Although, I do love my Iphone.

Hard to complain about a phone that does pretty much everything you ask it to.

And trust me, I have had phones that have crapped on me like a parrot with diarrhea.

I was with the company that used to be LA Cellular for a long time.

I forget what they were called, but the got bought up when Verizon first came to town.

They sucked.

I was with Verizon for about 10 years.

They were famous for taking my request for a “New on the market” phone and giving me phones that had just been discontinued.

And those phones always crapped out on me but could not be replaced because that model was no longer being made.

They sucked.

I was with AT&T for a long time.

They were kind of like off white wallpaper.

Boring, never stood out, never rocked it, but never super bad.

So they sucked by default.

And then, I went with sprint, for the Iphone.

Sprint rocks it more than they suck.

Or maybe thats just the Iphone talking.

The really shitty part of it is that I don’t have any will power when it comes to the marketing.

The commercials are being made, just for me.

The speak to me. Lie to me. They say things only a child could understand.

Sometimes, after I go into the cell phone section at Bestbuy, I cut myself.

Its a vicious circle.

Mainly, the conflict is this.

Everything I want to get needs to meet the bar set by my current phone.

The Iphone bar.

I hate the company, their corporate structure, the Foxcon factory they use, all of it.

Steve Jobs, when he was alive, was a lot like Ike Turner on a mean drunk.

Sometime after a new phone release, he would slap us around like we had the bad luck of being named Tina on the wrong day.

And then, a few weeks later, he would come around with a new phone in hand.

Take me back, baby! You know I didn’t mean it!

And we did, again and again.

But I love my Iphone.

So the question becomes, lets say I find another phone that I like.

It has sweet features, and killer ease of use.

And maybe the company isn’t quite as evil as the Apple empire.

And their factory doesn’t put Haitian underage sweat shops to shame.

Maybe then.

Or maybe you can have my Iphone when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

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Posted by on December 11, 2012 in Uncategorized


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