I need to take this blog and clear up a few loose ends that I have both felt bad about and have gotten some grief from you unforgiving shits about.
First things first.
Right at the end of the Black Friday Part 2 blog, when I was writing with a 101 degree fever, I mentioned an altercation at the cash register between a woman who had snatched an Xbox out of a little kid’s hands and the little kid’s avenging mother.
Here you go.
I had just finished watching a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving on the floor in the TV department in Best Buy and was on my way out.
The beautiful thing about not buying anything on Black Friday is that you can walk straight out.
However, the word Puta will catch your attention and kind of slow your roll, as it were.
I immediately become interesting in literally anything in the direction of the angry voice.
A short, stumpy hispanic woman has a little boy I recognize in her left hand and is stabbing a finger menacingly close to the Xbox woman’s face.
Xbox woman is kind of a Russian caucasian, average height.
I honestly hope she doesn’t think that the Hispanic woman holding her son’s hand means that she won’t take a swing at her.
It might be racist, but it is not meant to be, to say that she will totally start swinging with her kid in hand. Its a Latin woman thing.
When the fight starts, the kid will step to the side without being told.
Xbox lady is denying she took it, even going to far as to call the kid a liar.
Wrong move. La Raza is now on.
Xbox mom is now more pissed than before.
Its about to come to blows.
The absurdly weird part of it is that I am not entirely sure both women are understanding everything the other is saying.
As they get more and more into it, I am seeing more lapses into first languages.
Spanish on one side and something slavic, possibly Armenian on the other.
And then the manager ruined it.
Any other time, he stood a serious chance of having his ass kicked by two pissed off women.
In his hands, he holds another Xbox and coupons for free stuff.
Oh, this is definitely not his first rodeo.
There is one thing that can shut down pissed off house fraus of any nationality.
A deal with free stuff.
So I left.
The second item I would like to address is the three emails I received after posting “Sick Bastard” which dealt with my thoughts on being sick.
First – I rarely drink, so while I appreciate your prayers for my continued sobriety, but I got this. I was kind of kidding about the whiskey with cold medicine.
Second – I think it a little unkind to call my blog “Medically Incorrect”. For the record, I did mention that the doctor I know would not see me. And no, I will not announce that I am only a layman without medical training.
Third – I also like Howie Mandell, but the man is a self confessed germaphobe. I will not retract that, go pound sand.
There, I feel better now.
In more ways than one.