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Learn how to drive, people!

21 Nov

You don’t mind if I road rage for a minute, do you?

Good.

People are assholes.

I know how ironic that statement is, given that I freely admit to being an asshole on an almost daily basis.

But, today is a red letter day for every dip ship that cannot figure out how to drive.

It starts almost subtly.

The street I live on is a narrow one that allows parking on both sides.

The middle of the street is just barely wide enough to allow two cars to pass each other, but only if the drivers know how big their cars are and know how to drive.

So, logic dictates that, if you drive a Chevy Suburban, arguably the largest SUV on the road, you would put in the time to figure out how to drive it, get comfortable with the width…etc.

Not this lady.

I saw her coming from way up the block.

When an SUV creeps along at well under the speed limit, you tend to notice it.

I figure out ahead of time, that if she is that uncomfortable with driving that big beast with the width of the road with just her on it, there is no way in hell she is going to be able to handle her end of a low speed pass on this street.

So I pull over. I am about one foot from the curb, sticking out probably less than a foot into the street.

AND SHE CAN”T PULL IT OFF!

What follows is a five minute ordeal of her creeping forward, inch by inch, lurching to a stop every inch and a half, before she finally manages to creep her massive fucking car far enough past me, that I can escape.

I made it to the end of the block and she was only a few more cars down.

Good god!

And it only got worse from there.

I got cut off, almost side-swiped, just missed being backed into at a train crossing, had 2 cars come over into my lane (No blinker ASSHOLE!), and one old lady flipped me off because I couldn’t back up when I was stopped and then she rolled up to the driveway to get out.

Sorry Granny, you’ll have to wait your wrinkled, rude turn.

And it didn’t stop there.

I had someone roll thru the crosswalk 2 feet from my unprotected pedestrian ass when I had the green, a garbage truck cut the corner too close and I had to hop back.

I made it to work alive and for that, I am truly amazed and unbelievable grateful.

So, despite life/karma/whatever’s best attempts, I did not end up dead on the pavement.

I am amazed I am still willing to drive/walk in this rotten town anymore.

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Posted by on November 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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