Homeless to the danger zone.

19 Nov

Sometimes when you don’t see movie stars your mind begins to wander and your mind makes up things and activities that they must be up to in between films.

And with my mind, the things that they get up to is pretty bad.

Here is some of the better fact stuff that I have made up about celebrities:

  • Lindsay Lohan is wondering Hollywood dressed as Liz Taylor in a drunken bender. (While this is kind of true, its not kind of the way I intend it to sound.)
  • Harrison Ford has been rumored to drunken ride his horse thru town in upstate New York, hitting the homeless with a polo mallet.
  • Leonardo Di Caprio has been accompanying Ms. Lohan thru Hollywood in a drunken bender, also dressed as Liz Taylor. (BeachMom contributed this line, and I’m still laughing.)

Some of it turns out to be totally true by the way.

  • Gary Busey is drugged out and more than a little crazy. (I saw a recent interview with him and his mind is a bag of cats.)
  • Lindsay Lohan is wondering Hollywood dressed as Liz Taylor in a drunken bender. (Like I said, it is kind of true.)
  • Tom Cruise is loitering around the El Segundo Starbucks dressed like a homeless guy and singing the Duran Duran hit “Rio”.

That last one about Tom Cruise is true, I swear!

Its raining in El Segundo. A rarity in Southern California, so I like to get out and watch it.

There is a homeless guy coming up the block, barely discernible in the distance, the rain is so heavy.

As he gets closer, I see he is wearing a hoodie that is covering his head, a yellow trash bag raincoat, and aviator shades.

I needed something out of my car, I was NOT headed outside to stare, I swear it.

As he passed me, I saw that he had the same black goatee and mustache that I last saw Cruise wearing.

That with the aviator shades cinched it for me.

Its Tom Cruise.

And the topper, as he walked by.

“Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand…”

Not much of a singing voice, but Tom is known for his acting anyway.

But Duran Duran?

I always had him pegged for a “Classic Rock” guy.

Whats interesting is the fact that the guy had great teeth. Very white.

Just like Tom.

At first the Tom Cruise thing was just an evil thought in my head, but now its starting to take root.

And thats where it begins to approach becoming real.

At least as far as my head is concerned.

In the modern world we live in, the difference between a vicious rumor made up by some blog site and the truth?

Is how many people see.

If it goes viral, it must be the truth.

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Posted by on November 19, 2012 in Uncategorized


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