There are some things that go with writing a blog that you never expect.
I expected some fans, I mean, that was why I was writing it in the first place.
I expected to get some sarcastic comments, both on the blog page and on Facebook, which it the main marketing social media site I use.
But with the fans, comes the different niches of fans.
First, there’s the Cheerleaders.
I don’t know what I would do without these people. They are kind of the grease that keeps the machine moving.
Basically, they like the blog.
They read it daily, comment on it, tell their friends about it and anyone who doesn’t like it? They attack like a pack of wild dogs.
Its not a pretty thing to see.
But they get me. They realize that I might say something shitty that they don’t like, but they hold tight because they know something else is coming tomorrow.
I write for them.
Next up are the critics.
And the critics come in two separate flavors.
Often times there’s an actual critique.
This is when they tell me how I fucked it up.
It was either funny, clever or a good idea, or not funny, stupid, or really poorly thought out.
And I spelled it wrong. Or used the wrong there instead of their or they’re.
They insist on writing me private emails because, and I quote, “I don’t want you to blow this off and make fun of me on your blog.”
I am not nice and I am childishly obscene in a blindly defensive manner.
But they do claim to like the blog.
I don’t think they do, but that is what they always say, like it makes their critique easier to take.
And then there is the people who actively hate the blog, or me, or today’s subject.
The reasons to hate the blog seem to be numerous.
A lot of them surround me and my many faults.
I took a sampling of the keywords and found the top 5 problems I inflict upon the public.
- Homophobic. Entirely possible, but doesn’t really match up with my strong gay following. I can’t afford to offend gay people, in that whole ”don’t shit where you eat” kind of way. Besides, I am a fan of lesbian porn, trust me on this.
- Misogynist. This one I don’t get. I love women, in a deep and pure way and also in that completely sexist way that objectifies women.
- Illiterate. Impossible. I am a poor speller, and frequently pooch the use of spell check. However, there are words on the page that conveys some sort of thought, so the illiterate tag doesn’t fit.
- Offensive. “Intentionally trying to offend”, is a quote. Yuh think?
- Mean. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. They are dead accurate on that one. I am frequently a rotten shit and will try my best to piss you off for no reason that anyone, including me, can figure out.
But I don’t understand why they hide behind untraceable email addresses. I beg them to put it in the comments section.
And then I figured it out.
They don’t want a reply.
They just want to chastise me and get in the last word.
Its cowardly, but at least its effective.
But this, in a nutshell, are the people who read this sad little blog.
For those that like it, at least a majority of the time, thank you, I appreciate your support. (Buy the goddamn book)
For those that don’t like it, I leave you with this.