What does it mean when your teeth itch?
Its not gingivitus, I checked, plus I am a beast with Listerine.
I think it has to be stupid people.
And I am not talking about the election.
I would LOVE to, but thats not what this blog is about.
Besides, I am convinced most people are stupid to begin with, so harping on electing, re-electing, voting new taxes or other nonsense is kind of like beating a dead horse.
And if you have never beaten a dead horse, its fun for like the first minute, then it gets old.
Anyway, I needed gas this morning.
That is what started this whole thing.
I don’t normally go cruel first thing in the morning, but it does happen.
I am going to the gym like a fiend these days, mainly because I am single and tired of carrying extra weight.
But there was a guy who had to be a solid foot taller than me, and outweighs me by 300 pounds.
I am prone to exaggeration, but not in this instance.
So, basically, Jabba the consumer is in AM/PM, and he is eating corn nuts.
One of those situations that he is so hungry, he is eating them before he gets to the register.
In fact, he has an empty wrapper tucked under his pinky.
He is working on his second bag.
And the diet soda is out.
There is a certain level of sick humor and irony to that.
However, Jabba the consumer is really upset about it.
But, instead of going to the cashier and asking him to change it, it seems to make more sense to stand at the drink machine and yell across the room.
And he isn’t even being nice about it.
I could be totally wrong, but telling the cashier he is, and I have to quote here, a “Lazy mother-fucker!” is not the type of thing that gets favors.
I don’t like to get involved, you never know when Jabba might start attacking strangers at random.
Gas costs a ridiculous amount these days.
On to work.
At the stoplight, the lady in the car next to me is fully into her American Idol try out, at the top of her lungs.
And then she notices me watching slightly laughing.
This is a perfect moment to laugh at herself and smile.
The light turned green and she mouths the words, “Fuck you” and drives off.
I park in the underground bunker and head over to the escalator.
And there is a guy taking his time.
I usually walk up the escalator, and since its moving, I ascend even faster.
But not today.
This guy is texting, and being the slow child he evidently is, he cannot walk while he does.
I really need my coffee this morning.
Some days are worse than others.
Coffee Bean’s patio is filled with really old guys that all hate the president.
I know this because whenever I walk buy, the old guys are yelling.
At each other.
For no reason.
Everyone is agreeing with each other, but they are yelling and pointing fingers like they are in wild disagreement with each other.
And I stepped in dog shit before I got to Starbucks.
Boo fricking hoo.
10 minutes later, I am sipping my coffee.
Takes the edge off.
The sun is out.
Sky is blue.
Gonna be an ok day.