One of those mornings.

02 Nov

Have you ever seen a woman wearing a dress so tight, that for it to look good, she has to pooch her hips out and clench her ass cheeks, like she’s holding in a fart?

Its a tough look to pull off without looking ridiculous.

Yoga ladies go to class either dressed in their yoga outfits or they wear these floor length stretchy tight dresses.

Its kind the new age, well monied, but “Hey, I’m a unique bohemian” look.

Its a good look, done right.

Done wrong, she looks like she’s wearing a cup.

And thats all I have to say about that.

Here is why only yoga ladies wear these dresses.

Because only yoga ladies are frail and thin enough to wear them properly.

However, every little bone sticks out in an unflattering manner

I appear to be the only one that finds that unattractive.

Because I watch the guys trip all over themselves when in the presence of these skinny bitches.

These are my cynical thoughts in the wee hours of the morning as I wait for my coffee to cool enough to drink.

I have a slight headache from lack of caffeine today.

Need my fix.

There is another type of yoga person that is a little more frightening.

And that is what I like to call the “Methuselah”.

The Methuselah is the older woman, late 60’s, that is convinced that because she is taking yoga, botox, lip injections and GOD KNOWS what else, that she looks young.

But she ends up looking like a duck-lipped mummy.

I have just taken a moment to read back over what I have written this morning.

When did I become this cynical and rude?

Answer? Years ago.

God, I need my caffeine.

More to protect the public from me than for any other reason.

I have had a few people ask why do I notice the things I do.

I am not autistic, but whatever I am, I am really high functioning.

But, I know my mind well enough to know that I may have some sort of reason for being so snarky and shitty this morning.

Lets just roll with that.

Here are 3 random crappy things about the patrons in line at this moment:

  • Black socks with shorts at the beach? Really? Seriously dude?
  • Either theres a meeting of the Red Hat Society, or the aging yoga lady in line has NO TASTE. (Not that I do, but even I can see that outfit has gone seriously wrong.)
  • Don’t get me wrong, I am sure that the pompadour is quite stylish wherever this guy comes from, but in the middle of downtown Manhattan, it sticks out a wee bit. (Besides, Elvis is dead, let it go, dude.)

Alright, time to let the anger go and drink my coffee, which is finally cool enough to drink.

Have a great day.

1 Comment

Posted by on November 2, 2012 in Uncategorized


One response to “One of those mornings.

  1. Elyssa

    November 5, 2012 at 8:54 am

    Along with some over priced stroller this is the Manhattan beach mom uniform.


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