Nosy Rosy is all up in your business.
The line in Starbucks is long and slow.
A new cashier can effect you like constipation.
Annoying as hell and takes forever.
And, adding to that general sense of annoyance, is Rosy.
Nosy, because I have so far seen her but into 2 cashier/customer conversations in order to offer suggestions about how to make the drink better, or offer advice on how to write it up.
But an interesting dynamic has come over the line. Its a lot like that scene from the Helen Keller movie, where the little blind and deaf girl roams from plate to plate during a meal, and nobody says a word.
Same thing here.
No one is really talking to her, but for the most part they are just tolerating her.
I have dated women like that.
It becomes a teeth grating ass-clench of a pet peeve for me.
I am kind of lost in my revery when a voice cuts into my thoughts.
“What are you having?”
The line has looped around and Nosy Rosy has pulled even with me in passing.
I was hoping to avoid this.
I almost bite my lip in anticipation.
I know that no matter what I say, she will pony up something else under the pretense that I will like it better.
I just want my coffee.
I also toy with the idea of giving her some gibberish like I sometimes do with the crazies I run into.
But that could backfire.
Best to just be confusing.
“Who are you?”
“Huh?” She hesitates for half a second before jumping back in. “You look like a straight coffee guy.”
Ok, she’s accurate, but still annoying.
Unrelated facts are almost as good as crazy in this case.
“All the coffee here is free trade, thats important!” I pick up a 1 pound bag of coffee beans and hand it to her.
People have this automatic reflex when you hand them things.
They take it.
I am beginning to see the gears turning in her head.
The moment her mind makes the conscious connection with the idea that I am wasting her time, you can see it in her eyes.
And then, its just like a cop at the scene of the crime, shooing away the tourists.
Move along, nothing to see here.
And just like that, she’s gone.
Gonna be a good day.