I personally think its impossible to get thru your teens, 20’s, 30’s and into your 40’s without baggage.
And I don’t think of kids as baggage.
Kids are the whole reason you go down that path, whether you realize it or not.
Some people either forget that or never realize that.
Its an instinct thing.
Herpes, now that is an example of negative baggage, but that is not the point I am making.
Fear of commitment, anger management issues, trust issues…etc.
Issue type issues.
That is baggage.
And its the type of baggage that can get you more baggage.
I have used the phrase, “You gotta find someone who’s bags match yours” before, but I was to explain what I mean.
It’s not just a catchy phrase.
Its like the anger management thing.
I have a couple of friends that have always had issues with their temper and their mouth, especially their mouth when their temper is up.
But each guy’s partner has different baggage and it affects the mix differently.
The first guys wife is a clueless dippy with little sense that likes to bait him.
I have waited for years for that fateful phone call that he killed her.
That line is only half kidding, by the way.
The second guy’s wife has past experience in counselling.
And he can be defused by her before he ever gets too cranked up.
It really is nice to see.
However, the second wife has a rare enough skill set that you wish occurred more often.
But, like diamonds, if you could find them everywhere, we wouldn’t value them as much.
And that seems sad.
One of the worst types of baggage you can have is a bad relationship.
Because once they end, the big piece of baggage splinters into multiple pieces of baggage.
And they morph and change, but generally eat away at you like radiation.
I know people who spend the rest of their lives dealing with the aftermath of the tragically bad relationship.
I may know something about this.
The best you can hope for is that, in the long run, you keep yourself open to opportunities and try not to shut sections of yourself down out of fear or reflex.
That being said, to use the old hippy adage, if it feels good do it.
One of the baggages you can pick up is a misplaced sense of trying to please people who are no longer in your life.
I had a divorced woman I have known for quite a long time admit to me that she does not let people she knows meet any of the men she has slept with since she got divorced.
She does this because she doesn’t want anyone to think she’s a “Slut”.
Who are these people?
As near as I can figure, it was whatever gaggle of rude judgemental bitches she ran with in high school.
Here is the truth, “Slut” is a high school term for a girl who’s jealous friends wish they could make out with the hot guy she was with.
Its what I like to call a “Rotten jealous bitch” term.
And it really belongs in high school if at all.
Once you get out of your teens, if you decide to sleep with a guy, you are an empowered woman who knows what she wants.
And good for you.
In the end, I kind of think about it like the latin phrase, “Primum non nocere”
Translation – “First, do no harm”
And that counts if you’re naked or not.
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