I was going to write a line about how losing your car keys is like some sort of mental/emotional nightmare, but I managed to stop myself.
I recently rewatched Nightmare on Elm St, possibly the most twisted horror film I have ever seen.
It was bad enough that I feel like a whiny ass for even writing that line.
Unusual feeling for me, because I have written some foul shit on this blog without even pausing.
So, my somewhat pathetic minor annoyance at losing my car keys this morning has shot my day all to hell.
I am currently in the middle of a working out binge, but being forced to bicycle commute because I am a dumbass with short term memory issues.
Maybe its Karma’s way of telling me to step it up.
I wouldn’t put it past Karma to screw with me.
Karma and I have a bit of a love/hate relationship.
I rip Karma on a regular basis for not doing its job consistently.
I want the evil to suffer, the righteous to prevail and such.
And Karma is severely hit or miss on this subject.
But, if Karma worked consistently, we wouldn’t even need laws.
And there is a difference between having a dirty mind and being evil.
A dirty mind is harmless, more or less.
Unless of course, you are one of those high strung people that lives a life of totally denying dirty exists, and when you run across it, you freak like there’s shit on your shoe.
I seem to run into those people all the time.
There are more of them than you think.
But at least I have a little patience, or at least time my descent into dirty a little slicker.
Because timing is everything.
Here is a perfect example.
A friend of mine told me about an encounter she had the other night at a concert club.
She ran into a guy that grew up locally.
And here is the first three things he said to her.
1. Oh, you went to #### High School? I went to #### High, just down the road.
2. Do you come to these shows often?
3. You should text me some sexy pics.
Let me make it perfectly clear that I am in favor of sexting when you know each for more than 5 minutes, but good Lord, dude!
As quick as this guy was off the start, I am shocked he didn’t whip it out and start jerking off at the table.
And trust me, nothing starts the party quicker than a little public masturbation.
But its that kind of lack of control that makes all men look bad.
Now, I am not providing excuses for this guy, but the woman in question is stunning and, in that sort of venue, drinking was involved.
God knows I have probably done worse, but its been awhile.
So the end result is that men look a little bit worse, women have their guard up a little bit more, and the whole game just got a little bit harder for everyone.
Nice going, dude.
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