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Pissing off the help.

13 Sep

I sometimes don’t recognize when the situation goes south on me.

There is a really naive side of me that sails along like a slow child on the merry go round.

And then reality hits.

And yet, when I look back, I realize that I have that type of personality that seems to start trouble.

The art of pissing off the waitress is a subtle one.

It requires a fine hand, one trained for years.

Or it just happens.

The restaurant is a really nice one.

The occasion is a birthday dinner.

The fact that it is for a stunning 43 year piece of ass, made it even better. (Please forgive me.)

At first, I didn’t even notice that the waitress had an issue.

However, when the bread bowl is dropped from 6 inches off of the table’s surface, it is indicator that something is up.

I looked up to see the waitress glaring at me.

My mind begins asking and answering questions.

Have I ever dated this women? While it would certainly explain the animosity, she is too young and is built in the exact opposite of what I like.

Lets face it, being built like a 2×4 is not sexy, not to anyone.

How to play this?

Lets assume its a simple mistake and make her come to the party.

“Hi!” I tend to talk too loud and be way to cheerful when the shitty stuff starts, its a nervous reaction that makes people think I am enjoying it and am even more of an asshole.

“Can I get extra butter?”

To me this is simply a feeling out question. How bad is it?

The response is a sigh, an eye roll and she stomps off.

What the hell?

I the interlude while she was gone, I began to review my actions and trying to pick out what the hell I’ve done to piss her off that bad.

I find myself doing this on a regular basis.

Kind of a recurring theme with me.

And I have come to focus on the push off I gave her.

The push off is when you just sat down, and when the waitress first comes over, you tell her to give you a minute.

And maybe telling her that 4 times prior to ordering drinks is a little excessive.

But I am still kind of confused.

This is one of those restaurants that automatically adds 20% to the bill, so what in the world would she be pissed about.

Thats it! I think I nailed it.

When a waiter or waitress no longer has to worry about the whole hustling for a tip thing, two things happen.

The first thing is that when you remove the need to hustle for a tip, there is a certain amount of “I no longer give a shit” that goes on with some servers.

The other is the somewhat whiny sense of entitlement that happens.

Shit that they used to forgive and brush over in their quest for money.

Now? You are wasting their time.

Pretty much throughout the entire meal, she had this look on her face that was either annoying or disturbing.

And then my mind wandered, and I began to wonder if she really had an issue and I was being cruel.

Perhaps she has a rare form of facial Tourettes Syndrome.

Or maybe she got some botox from a doctor with a shaky hand.

Who knows?

And then I focussed more on the fact that the service blew chunks.

The fact that the meal was about 3 times what it would normally cost made the shitty service sting just that much more.

 

OVER IN THE COLUMN TO THE RIGHT THERE ARE ADS FOR THE BITTERMAC BOOK AT AMAZON.

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9 Comments

Posted by on September 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

9 responses to “Pissing off the help.

  1. Beach Mom

    September 13, 2012 at 7:07 am

    I almost went to the manager. I started my birthday off by getting shit on. I didn’t need it ended with that waitress being such a snot. If I didn’t have you guys making me laugh so hard I would have taken my earlier frustrations out on that Bitch. Thanks for being such an awesome friend.

     
    • Bittermac

      September 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

      I don’t even ask anymore. Most women take a dislike to me eventually.

       
  2. Rockstar

    September 13, 2012 at 8:35 am

    I figured that was who the piece of ass was… Glad you were there to make her laugh!!!

     
    • Bittermac

      September 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

      The outfit was pure “Sex on a stick”. And I don’t mind staring.

       
      • Rockstar

        September 14, 2012 at 12:01 am

        It’s always good to be appreciated!!!! Especially at our age!

         
      • Bittermac

        September 16, 2012 at 1:36 am

        Our age isn’t as old as it used to be.

         
      • Rockstar

        September 17, 2012 at 8:59 am

        You are so completely right!

         
      • Bittermac

        September 19, 2012 at 9:31 am

        I usually am.

         
      • Bittermac

        September 19, 2012 at 9:33 am

        Follow up. I was looking at pics of women in their 40’s from 20 years ago. Hands down, women in their 40’s today are much hotter.

         

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